Note: The idea behind “Leading By Example” project is to offer a donation whenever I can to a charity, not-for-profit organization, or person of my choice. This program is designed to provide an example to everyone about how to offer charity regularly. Whether this task is conducted on monthly or yearly basis really depends on where you are in your career or how much struggle you are up against. But, even then the donations should be routinely provided through this method─remember, even a warm smile is considered a donation because it improves the minds. Oh! I learned all this through Islam. Kindly follow these footsteps to lead the rest.
See the rest of the examples under the category Leading By Example.
I just ran the “buddy program” session with an abused woman. I believe that everyone should verse themselves in preventing domestic abuse. I do this by making functional connections either with reliable lawyers, therapists, social or community workers, colleagues, or friends; being willing to submit independent and necessary commentary, like thoughts on recent attempt to commit suicide, to the authorities or anyone else who are working on that particular case; learning relevant literature including emergency exit plans, emotional abuse assessment guides, and suicide prevention; developing an understanding of the possible moves the abuser(s) might end up making; understanding the culture and belief system of the victim(s); emailing helpful information; and, participating in the separation, divorce, or emergency exit process. You must do this according to your mental and physical abilities and budget. For instance, you can start building a lobby slowly by connecting with one professional at a time; gaining experience in lucid dreaming by helping men/women you somehow feel connected to; acquiring knowledge of the Abnormal Psychology (Regeneration and What is Abnormal Psychology); learning how to maintain confidentiality; and requesting another expert to intervene when the victims become too scared, agitated, and shaken.
There are couple of things you have to know before you decide to play the buddy:
- Only work for women who feel that they can somehow trust you with their personal information.
- Know when to stay quiet so that the victim may have sufficient time to absorb her trauma and then react properly.
- Know that you won’t be able to pull each victim out of their situation because sometimes they have to live with their abuser(s) due to lack of money or job.
- Do not sit there and judge the woman you are working with; she might be temporarily feeling down or acting rashly because her abuser(s) don’t let her breath, grant sufficient space, and figure things out.
- Connect with men who know about woman abuse and how to handle it. They can help you understand the situation at hand or give you good contacts to work with. Speak only to men who have some sort of training to handle such situations; who are on the same page with you; or who have previous experience handling traumatized women─this is tricky because men who are playing it nice but don’t know what to do will get you into deeper trouble instead of walking you through all of this. Furthermore, men know better about the psychology of men. For instance, my male doctor who knows that I volunteer for abused women advised me that men who are acting harshly towards a victim might be planning to sexually assault her and force her to become dependent on them. Don’t just sit there and ignore men simply because the person who has been attacking your buddy is a man.
- Be part of an existing support system so you may constantly extract knowledge from their resources.
- Learn to draw a boundary somewhere. Sometimes, the victim(s) might be very injured and thus unable to decide what’s better for them. That’s when you have to decide what’s better for them and help them navigate. Other times, you might end up with a completely uneducated and angry woman who needs help. Look at your comfort zone and then decide if you wish to help; and also decide when you need to stop helping out and move on with your life.
- Create your “Safety Tips” list, which should list the most critical points you want to bring up while advising a victim of abuse or someone who is willing to learn how to help them out. Here is a sample list that I created.
This system really works well on its own due to contributions by only some people. For example, I used this system to help an abused woman get a job and another woman her driving license. Its easy to play this system even if you are planning to hide from your abusers and the general population.
I am thinking back to one of my lucid dreams now. Perhaps, it was a spiritual quest that’s indicating that citizens must participate in protecting each other from domestic abuse. I mean I learned whatever I know about how to handle and manage women abuse after I saw this dream.
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