Cyberbullying: Halal Dating Sites

Originally Published On: Aug 15, 2017

Note: This post is about the misuse of women by some Muslim men through online chat. It is also inspired by how I was abused by a Muslim man while using an online dating app—I reported him to the site’s management right away. The idea of somehow lowering women stems from misinterpretation of some of the rulings of Islam. As we read through existing translations of Islamic scriptures, we must keep in mind that some of the existing scholars are in fact struggling to learn the original Arabic, which is very much different than the modern or other recent versions of Arabic. This is how mistakes are made in translations or differences in opinions arise. There are some Muslim leaders and Imams who tend to believe the shortened versions of some Islamic scriptures and then devise rulings based on these. For instance, look how twisted the statements by the Toronto Police Services Muslim Chaplain Musleh Khan are sounding. Such men ignore a whole lots of things such as credible evidence and female psychology. Think of it this way: If Khadija, the first wife of Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) was not an independent and fierce thinker, then she would had been unable to lead all those mighty trade processions or hire Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) to do the tasks for her.

She was new to this halal dating site; and, it was her very first chat with some Muslim man who appeared to be very polite.

Muslim Man: Assalam-u-alaikum, how are you doing?
Muslim Girl: Wa-alaikum-assalam, I am well. How are you?
Muslim Man: I am well, alhamdulillah. So, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Muslim Girl: (provides minimum information) I like to play board games. What about you?
Muslim Man: (rhymes in sync like a puppet) I like them too. What else do you like?
Muslim Girl: (decides to investigate further) Please give me some time to review your profile.
Muslim Man: (tries sounding persuasive) I like your profile. Do you want to meet up?
Muslim Girl: (stays quiet and finishes reviewing his profile) I just found out that you are from Middle East. I don’t wish to move to Middle East. I wish you luck in finding a suitable spouse, inshaAllah.
Muslim Man: What do you mean? You cannot leave now.
Muslim Girl: (feels shocked) What do you mean I cannot leave now?
Muslim Man: I like your profile. You are a devil if you left. How dare you, you bitch?
Muslim Girl: (starts shaking) I think I have just connected with a whacko (copies the entire conversation; emails it to the administration; blocks the guy; and, then removes her profile from the website). I swear that I will not marry a born Muslim. They are doing a lot of things wrong. Maybe, a convert Muslim man will do things right. Today was the last straw because now I am hardwired into believing this.

It is the traumatic nature of memories that creates a general impression of certain things including race and websites. She decided to stay single for a bit because she lost trust in online dating and men and her community was far too segregated for her to reach out given her minimum pay and small network.