Note: I have been observing some of this up close and some of this was used to target me. I have done my best to put those abusers under control. This includes use of lawyer as well as blocking social media accounts. Do not give such covert abusers a say no matter what.
Narcissists, including those who offer you empathy, are the wrong kind of people to hang out with. They will always erode your sense of worth through horrible comments, gestures, and jokes. This behaviour is there because they have been taught to win in a predatory manner.
- You are crazy.
- You are a psycho.
- You usually lie.
- You don’t know what you are doing.
- You cannot share this with anyone except for me.
- Sure! I abused you while you were working. But let us talk again because I think you have been handling my comments pretty well.
- Whatever! I am not listening to any issues and comments. This discussion is futile.
- You can leave the house. It isn’t really yours even if you are inheriting it.
- I want you to leave us alone and not say anything. Leave quietly!
- I will scold you in front of the rest and that way all of you will behave.
- Not identified: You are reacting due to fear and trauma; Identified: You shouldn’t feel anything when I abuse you; and, you should have run away from me instead of sticking around.
- I have nothing to do with your work assignments and deadlines but I can most certainly sit here and evaluate your performance.
- Says: We should be able to share personal things with each other. Motive: Abuse including hate mail and cyberbullying will begin some month afterwards.
- Says: Don’t laugh too much while watching a movie because you are disturbing everyone else. Ignores: I know that she really enjoys watching movies and that she is gonna laugh really hard. So, I have to ask her out.
- Says: Don’t hang out with her. You know some of her family members aren’t as nice as you have been imagining them to be. Ignores: I am not nice to her and this other girl/woman is defining all her exit points.
They are afraid of the fact that the victim(s) may share this kind of abusive commentary with friends or online. That’s the only thing that really freaks them out and keep the victim(s) safe. Get away from them because they can cause severe issues like heart attack, seizures, rape, and suicide. And, then they always say that it’s not their fault. So there is no point building a durable relationship with them.
Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.