I resigned 4 times from Canadian workplaces and/or academic institutions due to extremely manipulative and abusive situations─the fact that I am stuck trying to launch a stable career only shows that Canada has a very strong Double Glass Ceiling and lots of times illegal behaviour is fully justified by uneducated and toxic teams. I am an immigrant and I came to Canada from Pakistan thinking that I will have a life and some freedom here. But, I have gone through thorough abuse here and I am noticing that many people including some teachers, professors, and health care providers are trying to discourage women from speaking out for themselves. They hide their real motives behind comments about keeping personal information safe; but, sooner or later, their need to discourage free speech shows when they do not comment after observing signs of abuse. Abusive men have a stronger say that way because they end up thinking that “she is easy to abuse”; “she is naive”; or “she is okay with all this” simply because the victim has been hushed before. This is why I have been pushed to believe that living in Canada is just like living in a very abusive country like Ukraine where cops rape women and everyone stays quiet.
First, I used to think that maybe my attitude needed some change. Every now and then, I used to wonder as to why my own thoughts would get directed towards my attitude? I mean when I got to Canada, I was an extrovert. Maybe, some abusive Canadian people tried to change me into a quieter person but these kind of scare tactics don’t work for long. When I started investigating about what was going on, I found out that many White women and not just the colored women were complaining. A White woman once told me that she was being forced to volunteer. Another White woman frankly informed me that she did not get a job because of how young she looked. If White women are being put through this, then obviously the colored women are being abused in harsher ways. A lot of times, the abusive men are getting away with this because they are abusing younger women; immigrants who do not know the entire Canadian system fully; or those who are already stuck behind multiple barriers that are erected by this racist country that has a very well-defined gap between the rich and poor. Read “Harassment and Violence in the Canadian Workplace; An Issue on the Rise” by The Canadian Resource Centre for Victims of Crime.
Seriously! I am getting abused despite being so well-connected, educated, and experienced. I still do not have sufficient time or money to get a lawyer and sue my offenders. That’s why there is no written record of this abuse except for what I have already documented or discussed with my friends and advisors. And, that’s why my heart is getting affected and I am running into breathing issues. I wonder what is being done to those women who aren’t as privileged as I am! I am always more than happy to resign because I bring down my abusers every time I do this. You know what I mean!
Here is my message to all the women of this world: If you want risky adventure in your life like entertain the possibility of having your character assassinated, being murdered or raped, or enduring the state of invisibility, then you may decide to work in some Canadian workplace. Remember that only some Canadian workplaces keep the women physically, economically, and psychologically safe and the rest offer grave health risks to them and their loved ones; also remember that according to Canadian Women’s Foundation, two-thirds of Canadians do not know about Sexual Consent. I am writing a book about this; please, make sure to get your own copy once its completed and published. I am even running a Writing group for women only due to all of this. This way, we won’t be granting any abusers any opportunity to “open and close” the victims. I know that all these fails are actually dictating a win, which is why I do not feel lost about things.
Abusers make a big mistake when they misuse and mistreat people. They do not read them properly and they do not give them a chance to be read in a safe manner. They failed to read the following:
- I am a writer who stays quiet until she is done observing something.
- I am a great chess player and I slowly learn how to reverse all the moves.
- I am very stubborn, which is why I always follow up.
- I love using strategies to resolve conflicts; so if you are offering me even a tiny bit of doubt about something then I will definitely investigate it in detail.
- I am a genius but I haven’t fully discussed this in public yet. This is another reason why this fact is still undiscovered.
- I am a Rajput and thus I belong to one of the most brilliant races of this world. I once walked back home after a sparring match with a broken foot. Indian Rajputs have kind of that body type and endurance. I still have a mark on one of my foot. It’s my trophy!
- I heal faster simply because I am lucid.
- People and strangers love me.
- I don’t believe in the usual types of heroes that are shown by Hollywood, Bollywood, and Warner Bros although I give people the other impression when I am wasting my time. This is because I know that the real champions are made up of something different than what we all have come to believe.
By the way, classic mistakes like these can cause historical changes. But, in Canada these kind of mistakes are becoming the norm!
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