Abusers lie to you in a very fishy manner so that other people may not find out what its about. I had lots of abusers in my life and I am still trying my best to stabilize my condition. Here is something you might hear from an abuser:
Why are you blowing the horn right away about the possibility of your success? You don’t have an offer by a sponsor yet? Why be so happy about your first couple of tries?
The people who are watching this abuse and perhaps even enjoying it don’t understand what exactly is going on because they aren’t smart enough or educated enough. They don’t know that victim’s behaviour is motivated by the following phrase:
Believe that you have already succeeded before you even begin the task. (Source: “How to be Successful at Sponsorship Sales” by Sylvia Allen.)
Here is a screenshot from Chapter 53.
So this is how the abusers are twisting critical images that are already inside the minds of the victims. They do this on purpose so that the victims may not realize how to succeed in their lives.
Here is another very important example of how abusers lie to their victims. Protective and loving humans tend to make women feel a lot of positive emotions when they stand next to them. But, the abusive humans can make the women feel crowded with negative emotions when they stand next to them. This shows really well in photos in form of altered facial features such as a genuine smile and a faked grin. It is easy to tell if a woman is happy or unhappy while standing next to someone because their minds can keep playing a game of avoidance while they are near the abuser. For example, the mind can play the emotion “frustrated” many times when the victim tries to lie to the self.
I can cope for a bit, I think.
In many cases, abuser’s apology does not play anything inside the victim’s numb mind. This is because even the victim’s mind has a limit set inside and it knows when she cannot handle things anymore.
Furthermore, they attempt to reverse how the memory nodes are originally set up. For instance, the original information is as follows:
I will network, connect, and move on in my life; I will make more safe friends who will offer me appropriate emotional support.
Once the abuser finds this out, they strive hard to make one think incorrectly. For example, they may say many twisting things to prevent the behaviour that may lead to freedom and stability. Below are some examples:
Why what’s going on? Who is more important than your family that you are sharing these things with that person instead of us?
Quit performing outside! You can perform in front of us all the time and we will complement you.
Don’t show your house (like I do with my favourite guests) to your friends because people can bring positive and negative vibes with them.
Look at the nature of these comments: They are all playing on the idea of love, support, friendliness, and morality; but, they are designed to destabilize the victim’s personal network.
Lastly, the abusers are demented and vindictive in nature. For instance, if the victim has become incapable of praying due to lack of focus that is caused due to domestic abuse, then they offer spiritual assistance by stating the following:
Looks like you need to be patient about all of this. Since you are not praying anymore, I can state that the Devil (Shaytaan) is very effective on you.
But, they never say that you have been emotionally abused and perhaps you will remember how to pray well after you have left the abusive situation. And, if they were to say this all after hearing your commentary, then that would be their last attempt after they are done running their verbal tricks on the rest of your mind.
How scamming and cunning does this all sound to you? I must tell you that even I started believing my abusers for a little bit but then my mind didn’t conform fully to these tactics. So I did some readings and found out that they were lying to me.
Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.