I have a narcissist in my life and I am trying to get away in a very methodical manner; I have to do this carefully because he is otherwise a real gentleman. How can dreams help me find out if the narcissist is going to attack again? Well! You can get a dream signal. Fact: I got this dream signal about the narcissist just today. Fact: Something is going to happen again. I say something because his behaviour is unpredictable because he apologizes often. Here is my dream:
In this dream, I am carrying my younger brother who is a baby; taking care of him; and, feeding him. I am very busy and preoccupied with these tasks and the baby. I got so bored that she decided to tail this guy to the university campus. I texted him and told him that I am coming to see him. He does not text back or perhaps says okay to my inquiry. I take this as a signal that I can go there. After wasting a lot of gas and some effort, I got to the campus. There was a class going on somewhere; a professor was talking to someone; the professor closed the door after finishing his brief conversation; then, he started listened to what his class has to say. I moved around in this interesting place. Someone is playing a piano. I can see two men sitting near the piano: one is learning and the second is teaching. I am wearing a shalwar qameez (traditional Pakistani dress) in this dream; and, so I feel surprised when two foreign men stopped to play with the baby. I let them play with my baby; and, I notice their smiles and comments in an aware manner. Somewhere in this dream, my baby brother changes his face. I feel more relaxed because I love both babies although I cannot tell who the second baby is.
I paid zero attention to all the attractive signals in this dream because I was thinking about this dude. If I paid attention to these other dream characters, then the entire dream would have different. I look around and finally find his backpack and laundry on a table in a large cafe. I leave my shoulder bag and laundry there as well. Finally, he gets there to see me. The first thing he says to me, “You guys are so controlling.” I think he meant, “Oh! so you got all the way here.” I ignored his comment and said, “I have to go buy a banana and feed it to the baby.” He thinks, “Oh! that’s nice of you.” He watches me slowly as I walk over to buy a banana.
I woke up soon after I heard this mean comment. I started wondering that if he does not want me there, then why didn’t he text me back or use a thought to convey a message? I was already so stressed from taking care of the baby. Why did he just lead me on like this? By saying mean things, he is closing my feelings so that my emotions may pent up and then I finally blow due to exhaustion. He apologizes so that I may cave into the upcoming exhaustion and become a codependent. In real life, he says demeaning things like “You are crazy” or “You need help” every now and then. Everything is at risk: my life, my career, and my independence. What if he is having fun by making me cry and that is why he apologizes right away! I feel my self-esteem is being shaken gradually. This is why I have started believing that I am dealing with a The Co-Dependent Enabling Narcissistic Cycle.
Now let us review this dream again. This man just said something degrading to me again in the dream. Dreams are a type of dimension and they can sometimes open the future. So, I will cancel some of our future meetings because I am afraid that he is going to try to label me as “controlling” this time. This dream signal showed me that he never meant anything when he apologized to me last time. Another thing that I have learned is that it is possible to use past characters from one’s life to create an alternate reality where you may see the subject of concern behave. Reality is that my younger brother is not a baby anymore; and, he is very much grown up. I just learned how to use his dream character to check on something. He is very nice, easygoing, and trustworthy man. So it is easier for me to use his dream character to create a mood to find certain things out.
So this is just one way the dreams can teach you how to stop domestic abuse. I hope you enjoyed learning from me; and I am hoping that you will soon gain this skill.
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