I sometimes receive stares by men when I am in the bus—an odd place to do this, but I think its natural instincts. Once this guy got into the bus; walked right up to me; removed his glasses; smiled at me; and, called me “Beautiful”. I smiled back and said thanks. We had a short conversation, which ended pretty well—I was a bit scared throughout this dialogue because I did not knew him at all. But, nothing happened! Gosh! I was very glad when all this was over—I experience this discomfort only sometimes but not all the times. There are some more such incidences—in one extreme event, the guy who was gawking at me fell in a gutter! Fortunately, these weren’t dangerous guys at all and some of them were pretty decent. Seriously! even in the workplace setting, I have come across very normal and moral men who can’t help but stare at me.
Today, in the bus, a rather handsome, tall, and muscular man was sitting right across me. His long legs were spread out as he leaned over and played with his cellphone and luggage. Every now and then, he would look up and stare at me. Throughout the ride, he gave me a couple of lengthy yet innocent boyish looks. I tried ignoring him a bit; but, because he seemed so keen about me that I felt compelled to make a little bit of eye contact. Of course! I smiled at him a little bit. But, I also made sure to look away and hoped that this would shake him off. But, he kept at it! As we approached the station, I realized that I had gotten a bit scared. Now, my head a bit scattered; and, I was thinking all sorts of things. I was now clutching all my luggage, even the one that I had thrown on the seat when this ride started. I even thought to use a different door than the one he would use to get off the bus! LOL! I thought all this although I knew that the bus driver would notice if something went wrong. His staring was nerve-racking! Pretty soon, I realized that he was not going to harm me at all. Like me, he got off at the last stop. Just before he descended from the bus, he looked at me again and gave me that really cute puppy face. Yeah! I think he overdid the glancing thing—perhaps, he really wanted to have a conversation with me. Still, I somehow managed to muster a little smile. Then, he went ahead of me and got off the bus from the front door. This is when I realized that he was not trying to make me nervous—if he wanted to scare me, he could have chosen to get off after me. Suddenly, I stopped feeling scared and got off from the front door as well. Hehehe!
When he reacted like this, it hit me—once again—that men who gaze at women they find pleasant somehow are just behaving due to biological responses. I find that noticing the types of stares is actually something women learn as they age. Over time, I have learned whom to ignore and whom to encourage just a little bit by saying hello, smiling, or conversing—its tough for men to get me as date because I am an ENFP Empath. I feel its easier to read what some guys are thinking about me when they check me out. However, in some cases—including those about some rather warm men—I have difficulty reading what exactly they are thinking.
When I got home, I thought about what happened today. Then, I found Mark Manson’s article, “The Levels of Eye Contact“. Thus, I found out that this interesting gentleman was giving me a Level 5 stare referred to as “THE GAZE”. I have learned from experience that its easy to notice that someone likes you if you receive this look. I am sure its a tactic that helps men get dates!
This is a captivating lesson for all of us, especially the writers and poets.
Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.