I sometimes receive really solid stares by men—sometimes this happens at odd places like the bus and other time it happens in more usual places. I think its natural instincts though! Once, in Canada, this guy got into the bus; walked right up to me; removed his glasses; smiled at me; and, called me “Beautiful”. I smiled back and said thanks. We had a short conversation, which ended pretty well—I was a bit scared throughout this dialogue because I did not knew him at all. But, nothing happened! Gosh! I was very glad when all this was over—I experience this discomfort only sometimes but not all the times.
There are some more such incidences! I am going to narrate three of these situations that took place in Pakistan—I was just a teenager back then. In one extreme event, the guy who was gawking at me fell in a gutter! This happened at a local wedding. I was walking down a road that lead to the place where the wedding feast was being held. One young guy was walking in the opposite direction. He saw me and could not stop gazing at me. Thus, he did not realize where he was headed and finally fell in the gutter. I noticed him glaring at me; and, then I checked him out again after he had fallen in the gutter. I did not stop to get him out because it was a very small gutter; and, he could have easily gotten out. Besides, his friends were with him and the night was too dark. You know what I mean! Fortunately, these weren’t dangerous guys at all; and, I am sure that some of them were pretty decent. Another time, a professional photographer wanted to take my photographs during a wedding. He actually got very excited when he saw me. So he tried to throw a real effort to photograph me properly. Therefore, he decided to climb a table with the camera in his hand. He was so absorbed with glaring at my photo through the camera that he did not notice his steps. He took a step back on the table to make sure that my pic is properly captured; and, he failed to notice that he had stepped off the table. Then the table just toppled and he fell down along with his best friend, his camera. The table cover fell on him too—now I think that this incidence was designed by God to cool him off. His team members could not save him in time. He was okay after all this though! I still remember laughing at this although I tried staying serious! In yet another incidence, the son of my tutor saw me while I was waiting outside in the night for my parents to come pick me up. The night was pretty dark but some artificial light was pouring a bit from somewhere. He was riding a motorcycle and he ended up driving right up to me and almost bumped into me. I had nausea that day so I was feeling pretty sick. So the second he bumped into me and stared pretty hard to see who was standing in his way, I started sobbing. He got worried and talked to me to figure out what was going on. Then, he went inside and sent his mom to help me. They took me back inside and fed me to relax me. My parents came soon afterwards to pick me up. And, I got home safely. The next time I went there, my tutor’s son came to see me. He gave me quite a look; and, I could see him blushing. Then, he gave me a card or was that a letter. I took it and did not open it because I got scared of all this! So I gave it to my mom and told her who gave it to me. She took it and never returned it. He never got back to me about this. Besides, his dad (my tutor) protects all the girls who receive tutoring from him pretty well. Now then, I don’t really know what was written in that card/letter and who exactly wrote it. But, the way he kept blushing while handing it to me told me that he wrote this. Jesus! Some men are so funny! Seriously! Even in the workplace setting, I have come across very moral men who can’t help but stare at me.
Today, in the bus, a rather handsome, tall, and muscular man was sitting right across me. His long legs were spread out as he leaned over and played with his cellphone and luggage. Every now and then, he would look up and stare at me. Throughout the ride, he gave me a couple of lengthy yet innocent boyish looks. I tried ignoring him a bit; but, because he seemed so keen about me that I felt compelled to make a little bit of eye contact. Of course! I smiled at him a little bit. But, I also made sure to look away and hoped that this would shake him off. But, he kept at it! As we approached the station, I realized that I had gotten a bit scared. Now, my head was a bit scattered; and, I was thinking all sorts of things. I was now clutching all my luggage, even the one that I had thrown on the seat when this ride started. I even thought to use a different door than the one he would use to get off the bus! LOL! I thought all this although I knew that the bus driver would notice if something went wrong. His staring was nerve-racking! Pretty soon, I realized that he was not going to harm me at all. Like me, he got off at the last stop. Just before he descended from the bus, he looked at me again and gave me that really cute puppy face. Yeah! I think he overdid the glancing thing—perhaps, he really wanted to have a conversation with me. Still, I somehow managed to muster a little smile. Then, he went ahead of me and got off the bus from the front door. This is when I realized that he was not trying to make me nervous—if he wanted to scare me, he could have chosen to get off after me. Suddenly, I stopped feeling scared and got off from the front door as well. Hehehe!
When he reacted like this, it hit me—once again—that men who gaze at women they find pleasant somehow are just behaving due to biological responses. I find that noticing the types of stares is actually something women learn as they age. Over time, I have learned whom to ignore and whom to encourage just a little bit by saying hello, smiling, or conversing—its tough for men to get me as date because I am an ENFP Empath. I feel its easier to read what some guys are thinking about me when they check me out. However, in some cases—including those involving some rather warm men—I have difficulty reading what exactly they are thinking.
When I got home, I thought about what happened today. Then, I found Mark Manson’s article, “The Levels of Eye Contact“. Thus, I found out that this interesting gentleman (from the last para) was giving me a Level 5 stare referred to as “THE GAZE”. I have learned from experience that its easy to notice that someone likes you if you receive this look. I am sure its a tactic that helps men get dates!
This is a captivating lesson for all of us, especially the writers and poets.
Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.