When I was studying at University of Toronto, I experienced strong psychological need to learn as much as possible. My need was so massive that I could not focus on one particular program. I started out with a Major in Biological Sciences. After one year of studies, I realized that I was simply not performing the way I had expected myself to perform. Thus, my marks were lower than I expected. Anyways, I went home and thought and thought about how to solve this issue. I started reviewing what I studied in my high school and realized why I was enjoying myself a lot in school; this was because I was studying multiple subjects in high school instead of focusing on one particular type of course. So for my second year, I chose wisely. I added more courses including English, Mathematics, Philosophy, Chemistry, and Linguistics. Pretty soon, my mood and marks both improved dramatically.

While I was going through this amazing change, I actually enrolled in a Sociology course as well. I was very excited about studying this course. But within a couple of days, I got super-bored. The thoughts that kept bugging me were that I was learning from a White professor and studying inside a university that had mostly White teachers and a racist environment—there were some good guys and gals though. I felt neglected and clearly realized that I could not learn because I could not trust the teaching environment. I kept asking myself that given all this, why am I studying Sociology, which is the study of how society develops and functions. I kept this thought at the back of my mind while I went to the classroom. But soon enough, the most obvious happened! I ended up leaving the class permanently and never came back.

Over years, my crush on Sociology intensified; so I kept some books related to Sociology and other relevant subjects like Communication and Criminology in my library. In addition, I met Sociologist Dr. Craig Considine and also purchased one of his books, “Muslims in America, Examining The Facts”. Before I proceed, I must comment that my meeting with Dr. Craig was a very blessed and destined event since it was preceded by an extremely beautiful and vivid precognitive lucid dream—occurred several months before we met—during which one’s guardian angels visit.

During my spare time, which is rare to have, I was able to learn a bit of this particular subject. I felt very absorbed in learning whenever I would open a book, which is how I realized that I was always in love with this subject and just happened to realize it late.

And, drum rolls….

And…

This is how I learned how crushes and love worked. I mean if your crush or loved one is not paying you appropriate attention, then what is the point of going through all this.

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Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

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