Paheli means puzzle! Every played a paheli with God? I have! God gave me a friend, a White Canadian woman, who gradually became my close friend. I was so close to her that I started referring to her as my twinI am a Brown woman who has a White twin. There were even times when we experienced telepathy like wearing same colored clothes or feeling tired at the same time.

As I grew older, I battled with myself. I found out that there were times when I would feel attracted towards a guy and wouldn’t quite understand why I was feeling this way. There were times when I would feel attracted to multiple men and wouldn’t react in any way because I didn’t had the rest of the clues about this process. Some years passed as I realized this mental state of mine and struggled to understand what was going on by reading articles and allowing time to pass without deciding on anyone. Then one day, my White friend told me a complaint that a senior person once made to her. What she said made me read further!

I read around 5 magazines about seniors; then I rested; and, then I read another relevant article. This one was called “Still Got It” by Gail Gallant; this was published in the Reader’s Digest, Oct 2020. According to this article, attraction is a very subjective experience. So what one feels when one finds oneself drawn towards someone is a very personal encounter; and, we all know that desirability is defined not just by looks but a whole lot of others things like eloquence, knowledge, and manners. The article further tackles the notion of “Age Shaming” that happens because we have been taught to love youth and associated things like ability to exercise and not having wrinkles; the author asserts that it is possible to fall in love and have sex even after age 60. Furthermore, the article shares that one’s attraction changes over time since it is related to how one feels; this explains how people can fall in and out of love multiple times. Lastly, the article teaches that one’s shared practical knowledge, observations, encounters, and memories determine who one chooses to mate with.

So did you see how God provided me the answers slowly so that I may get ready and put things in right context. Of course! I have learned a lot by reading about seniors and listening to my twin sister. I feel more in control of my life now! I feel that in time I will be able to find a good husband for myself.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

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