Finding Myself Again

Around 7 years ago, I was raped by a Buddhist Islamophobe who was a Martial Arts Dan. He got away because I was a virgin when I was raped; and, I really did not knew anything about rape trauma or how to react after the rape. I failed to request a legal investigation due to lack of family support; I did not speak to the rest of family members after an older female relative insulted and bullied me when I complained about what happened; and, I also felt worried about revictimization, which usually happens during legal investigations. The same female relative who doubted me later helped me get some medical attention; but, I still did not get any councelling except when my family physician printed some relevant material for me. All this is still considered insignificant amount of assistance! So I lived with my trauma for around 7 years and used lucid dreaming and writing to heal myself. A lot changed after I was raped. I became very scattered and frightened!

  • I changed my career
  • I changed my city
  • I stopped working out and studying Martial Arts
  • I stopped smiling and being myself
  • I gained weight
  • I developed two medical (physical) issues that were eventually permanently sorted out

I took time to recollect myself. I read therapy suggestions and research about human behaviour online; I made sure to talk to my best friend whenever the need arose; and, due to the acceptance and support offered by my best friend, I was able to gradually open up about this abuse to two other friends. As I engaged in this quest, I learned many new things about human behaviour as well as lucid dreaming. Today, I feel much healed and relaxed! Just a while ago, I was looking at my resume and writing project when I realized that I had accomplished a lot on my own; and, I did this inside Canada, a country that offers very toxic environement to women especially coloured women.

I now know what I can end up achieving if I put my mind to it. I have been harassed and intimidated by men repeatedly because violence against women is on the rise. Read “Some Of My Brutal Mental Images Of Men“. But, I am still alive and kicking in the right direction. Staying optimistic and enjoying reliable company has helped a lot! I am now able to focus on exercises and sports to manage myself; and, I will attempt to join a survivors’ support group  too. I will try to find that Martial Artist—before the rape, I had a white belt in Karate and Taekwando—who almost got killed 7 years ago.

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Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Canada Is A Very Sexist Country

I find Canada is an extremely dangerous place for women! Its a place where talented women cannot win and are bound to be crushed one way or another. For example, I did not pursue a Master in Sciences despite having great marks⁠—which are tough to score at University of Toronto⁠—because I realized that the female faculty members were not offered sufficient grants. Read “Canada’s Undiscovered Geniuses“. How are these women supposed to satisfy the “Trial and Error” phase of experimentation if they do not have enough grants?

Here is a really funny story. I was once sitting in a group for one of my classes when a guy said something that seemed smart but felt very basic to me. As I participated in the conversation, I noticed that he was getting more attention for some reason. It did not show all the time because the group was a very balanced groupthere were both strong and weak members in this group. But, there were instances where I felt that he received unnecessary attention. Of course, I felt stabbed at this sexist scene! But, all this bullshit does not end here. Canadian workplaces are filled with men who talk about porn and sex openly; who blame their victims after raping or mistreating them; and, who tell even the most qualified females that they are lying or not making any sense. Just recently, I was “let go” from a job because my male manager decided that I should not be allowed to finish my three month probationary training. This systemic abuse is very common in Canada. It is so common that other supervisors and Human Resources professionals do not even challenge what exactly is going on. Read this event in detail “Playing Unfairly Against Women Is The Norm In Canada”. And, it gets way deeper than that!

Read the following articles to learn further:

Canada’s legal system is sexist and broken

Canadian politics are sexist. What are men going to do about it?

Canadian girls experience sexism early and often according to new report by Girl Guides of Canada

My experience tells me that women especially smart and well-informed women have considerable difficulty finding stable jobs and staying safe. I have learned this over time! And, I know that there are many other women including White womenI have talked to some of these ladies myselfwho find Canada pretty weird.

I have been surviving by learning things in detail. For example, I have learned over time that females and men who are fathers are very likely to protect the women better at workplaces. Once I got a job pretty fast when a female executive referred me. This seriously felt like telling a cool genie what to do by snapping my fingers! Even then, there are lots of “missed chances”. This type of crime needs to be combated, which I feel can be done with the help of the women and men who genuinely love the women in their lives.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Time Portals Open According To Your Decisions And Intentions

Warning: This blog post that might make you faint! Read it when you are less preoccupied. And, read till the very end. I will discuss a specific way of traveling through time at the end.

In my blog post, “Proof That I Can Move Ahead In Time By Around Four Years”, I described an edited version of a lucid dream that I had in 2015⁠—I kept some parts of the real lucid dream intact⁠ as I modified the content because I did not fully understood what I saw. I think I had a shock!

My Original Post: The Black Figure

Original Post Date: Aug 14, 2015

Note: This short story is based on one of my lucid dream. I have added a fake ending to give the story a spin.

She was fast asleep when a black shadowy figure appeared next to her bed. It looked at her quietly as she slowly started becoming lucid. In her lucid state, she could see this entity really clearly. She could also see through walls and that is when she noticed a Black woman moving towards the kitchen of a neighboring house. The black shadow focused its round eyeless head on her to prevent her from getting distracted by the woman. She noticed that it was emitting some sort of malevolent radiance from its forehead, and she felt that it wanted her to follow it. She turned her attention to the Black woman and heard her comment that the plague started a while back but she does not know where they came from. “What sort of plague is she talking about?” She thought as she gently stepped out of her body and followed the black figure.

Now, this paragraph from my dream, “The Black Figure” has not been edited. It is 100% original. The Black Figure and the Black women did appear. The Black women said that the plague has started a while back but she does not know where it comes from. In my post, “Proof That I Can Move Ahead In Time By Around Four Years“,  I questioned at the end what the plague was referring to.

Well, I have some answers now. Coronavirus outbreak that started in China has actually spread to America. China officially recognized the harm caused by this virus on Jan 24, 2020.  According to article,”What is the coronavirus and how worried should we be?” this virus has also spread to America, which is where my dream character “Black Figure” was trying to take me.  The article, “China virus death toll rises to 41, more than 1,300 infected worldwide” mentions that the world authorities are now trying to prevent a pandemic from spreading across the globe. Apparently, according to article “Outbreak: 10 of the Worst Pandemics in History” plagues are considered pandemics. What’s even more scarier about all this? A plague game that lets users bring the end of the world by spreading plague has now become very popular in China since it is helping Chinese cope with the fear of Coronavirus.

Okay! So that is what the plague was referring to. I am exhausted due to excitement, fear, and workload. All this is happening at the same time inside my mind! Phew! So below is an important tip for time travelers:

When you become lucid, you will enter parts of the time wrap from where you may choose to travel in one particular directionthere are two portals that open in different directions at the spot where I entered the time wrap. The “Black Figure” is nothing more nothing less than my previous and current imaginations and decisions. The mild hostility offered by “Black Figure” is something that has to be there in order to make me react and move in a certain direction. The fact that this dream character seemed malevolent played a critical part in preventing me from moving towards the Black woman who was discussing some sort of plague. Like the “Black Figure”, the Black woman was also a dream character that was bound to show me the future if I had moved towards her instead. This is the nature of time wrap that opens while we become lucid. So make sure to polish your mental data before embarking on a lucid dream journey. I have read that some lucid dreamers have also seen the Space. Seriously, the Sky is not the limit here!

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Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Finding My Sleep Again

Finding moments where I may accept my drowsiness and finally fall asleep is easy for me. However, I currently have issues sleeping well due to a concussion. Today, I used my gift to figure something out. You see, some people from my family are gifted musicians and poets. Read “Why I Would Not Sell Any Of My Work To Lollywood Or Bollywood“. So I have this ability to play back music of tones, voices, and spirits that I have fallen in love with with my energy just before falling asleep. It is stunning what I experience this way! The Hypnagogic Hallucinations that eventually cause dreamers to enter the lucid dream realm are created through this energy. It is not just what my head plays back; the music starts coming from somewhere in my body, especially from near my ear and heart, which are easiest for me to feel.

Anyways, today I could not fall asleep. So I started thinking about two of my favourite speakers—both are really respectable and intelligent men. Pretty soon, my energy levels fluctuated to create the music that I have associated with them. I tossed and turned in my bed for three hours like this as my mind tried to figure out how to sleep—I started writing this post around 3:40 am. As I tried to avoid the torture my injured brain was offering me, I realized that energy of one speaker was making me more sleepy but energy of the second speaker was making me more awake. I thought about this! Then I listened again. This time, I realized that the energy that was making me feel sleepy belonged to a soft-spoken speaker. I still could not drift away to my lucid dream world! So I got out of bed and read an article on concussion. The article stated that natural sounds can help you become sleepy. Read “Sleep Issues After Concussion“. Thus, I remembered how when I was a kid, I used to feel lulled to sleep while listening to the sounds of the night and darkness. That was a different sound. It felt like listening to silence itself. I still dunno where exactly that soundused to come. Slowly, my thoughts shifted to the second natural sound that makes me drowsy. Sound of Rain! Epic! So I went to YouTube and opened this audio. Check out 3 HOURS of Gentle Night RAIN, Rain, Rain Sounds for Relaxing Sleep, insomnia, Meditation, Study,PTSD. I am feeling sleepy now! Thank God,  this quest is over! 

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Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

 

Vision of Citizens Who Were Wearing Shalwar Qameez Being Abused By Cops

I had a horrible vision today. I do not know if this is just a playback of my memory or if some sort of incidence is supposed to take place. I saw men being taken away by cops, perhaps army men, from their homes or workplaces. I do not fully know where this took place but I did see a parking place. Men were wearing the traditional Pakistani clothes, Shalwar Qameez. Lots of them were being picked up! Some women were taken too. I feel they were innocent because they did not knew why they were being taken away; and, some of them were very keen about confronting whoever was kidnapping them. The kidnappers were dressed in clothes worn by officials, perhaps they were cops or army personnel. I think I saw a large tank or a van that was there to block movement. Captives talked to each other openly in their language since they had somehow become used to this entire routine. They were not afraid though! I could not tell which country this was happening in! Perhaps, this is because I am more into observing human behavior or maybe its due to the fact that abuse of honest folks is becoming a norm nowadays. This is all I recall of this particular dream. I woke up soon afterwards and started my day.

I started dissecting this dream after writing the above paragraph. One thing that kept popping up the lack of fear exhibited by the captives. I am a very creative person so I clearly see that fear is linked to creativity.  I see fear haunting me when I write or engage in a psychic phenomenon. Fear is there because it creates the rest of the things! Fear is an indication of what one does not know, which is why fear can give rise to other emotions like hatred when left unguarded. For example, read about the second woman from one of my dreams that I had in April 2019. Read blog post,”Young Female Spirits Have Been Haunting Me“. I actually met this woman in Dec 2019; she is much older than the female spirit who appeared in my dream but interestingly her attitude is very young. And, she asked me to complete a task related to charity. I have been struggling a lot to help out and my friends and acquaintances whom I approached for assistance know this. My fear shows in this dream too. In this dream snippet, I am resting in my bed, which symbolizes my fear of being fatigued.

My analysis of this new dream of mine is that the captives are actually very strong people. I understood this well  when these dream characters (captives) did not become afraid despite being misused so grossly. Like the rest of the emotions and behaviour, courage and intelligence come after fear. This is why I strongly feel it is the captors who are under trouble!

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

My Psychic Images Of My Future Husband

I do not want to share everything here; but, here are some of the psychic images I had during some of my lucid dreams. As you read this, know that I am still unwed. I have only recently started receiving dreams about this man who I feel is my husband; so maybe that means that our wedding day is nearby. I would have loved to ignore these signals; but, I felt compelled to review these after reading the article, “What My Dream Revealed About My Future (now) Husband“, which is written by a Christian woman Jennifer Wilder.

  • He sits on my bed.
  • He is not afraid of entering my room.
  • He sometimes looks at me while I am still asleep. Once I woke up and saw him sitting at the edge of my bed. One of his arms was on my further side; and he was leaning over and smiling as he drew his face closer to mine. I woke up, smiled, and noticed that his eyebrows needed to be managed.
  • He likes to travel.
  • He likes to investigate as well as give me gifts. In one of my dreams, he had like 12 microscope like devices spread near my bed.  He and I sat on the bed and looked through the devices together. We chatted during this activity.

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Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

I Met Pope Francis In My Dream

I had an interesting dream in the morning! I was at some event where Pope Francis was giving a speech in a building that had corridors and rooms with furniture and equipment. I was standing at the door; and, I addressed him by his name. I think he talked to me very briefly. During my dream, I could clearly see that his mind was preoccupied with his work. I distinctly remember him picking up his stuff and leaving the room where he was delivering a speech. I also noticed that he walked slightly bent.  He was interesting for me to watch because his mind seemed to be in some sort of interesting struggle!  I have never met him in real life, which is why this dream was important for me.

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Source: Unsplash. https://unsplash.com/photos/55k45BgfUF8

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Acting In Moderation

In Islam, moderation is a very broad concept. It takes time and patience to learn this skill. I believe that usually Muslims who are keen about both secular and religious aspects tend to be moderate in nature. According to the article, “How the Prophet Muhammad Rose above Enmity and Insult“, Michael Hart who wrote “The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History” states that Mohammad was successful on both the religious and secular levels. This tells me that Mohammad practised moderation!

I will give you a relevant example from my life. I once came across this student who was funny, hard-working, and demanding. I loved working with him; but, I also disagreed with him. So when he left studies for work, I felt bad about our past misunderstandings. I wanted to bid him farewell in a healthy way. So I gave him two valuable gifts to take with him. He cheered up considerably after this!

When people apply Islamic rulings in a wrong manner, they become extreme and end up harming innocents instead. One such example is how the Saudis are demanding halal organs and China is slaughtering Uyghur Muslims to get these. Reality is that there is no such halal or haram thing when it comes to organ donations because finding suitable organs could be a matter of life or death and sometimes suitable organ that is being donated by a Muslim might not be a good option for the Muslim patient. Read Medline Plus’s article “Transplant Rejection“. Another example is Muslims who keep stressing that only God can see the future and thus lucid dreamers are lying bout seeing the future. This is a very extreme and dangerous statement because they are invalidating the rest of the Islamic teachings, current Scientific research, and the testimonies of the dreamers. When I looked into how Islam views lucid dreaming, I found out that it is halal; there is a saying of Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) that states that the pen is lifted from someone who is asleep. Furthermore, I found out that humans can see the future because I read somewhere that believers will have 1 out of 24 visions of a Prophet. I do not know fully what the word “believers” is referring to; but, I am using this and the previous saying about dreams as testimony that it’s possible for anyone else to see the future to some extent with the help of lucid dreams. My last example of extremism relates to how some teachers including some North American teachers pick on amazing students due to small things like grammatical errors. I once failed to correct my typos due to lack of time and submitted my work. A teacher made sure to punish me rather gravely by filing a report, some of which was based on fake ideas, with her higher authorities—some students rebelled against her due to all of this and because this abuse tied into how they were being mistreated as well. Therefore, I permanently left the guidance of this teacher! Later, I came across a blog written by a well-known American professor. I found some errors in his posts as well, which forced me to think further. So I researched online and found out that human brain is allowing for this particular mistake. Read article, “Why Your Brain Lets You Make Grammar Mistakes (Even If You Know Better)”. 

Thus, it is clear to me that moderation is the key to practising both secular and religious ideas. This clearly shows when we review noteworthy champions like Mohammad (peace be upon him). I think that real Champions are like children to some extent—just like lucid dreamers, their minds are younger—regardless of how grown-up they really are. So it is best to behave in moderation around them in order to make their lives and yours easier.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

How Acting Can Be Dangerous

I am a writer who likes to sometimes act in order to create written work. I was like this when I was a child and teenager; but, as an adult, I act less because I can get tired this way. Its a demanding struggle inside my mind because acting creates more creative content! Read blog post, “Act It All The Way Through“.

Once I read an online article somewhere that stated that true writers can present a more disintegrated and destroyed self, which helps to compose unique works. When I am creating my characters (while awake), I experience visualizations of my characters. I literally see them thinking, behaving, and reacting. They are very much alive inside my head! I know that great thinkers like Tesla and Carl Jung also received visualizations. When I had my first visualization of this sort while writing, I became very uncomfortable. I stopped writing and thinking! I stayed like this for several years! I was now writing anything else other than my first novel, “Saryan“.

To calm my shaken self, I slowly started hacking into what actually was going on. I found out that this is normal for me! I also found out that this links into how Telepaths can sometimes receive certain images since these images are actually out there;  I practiced Telepathy in real life for some time while working with abused women, making personal decisions, or simply taking a walk. It did not work out well when I was stressed or when I was not in the mood! I also found the link between these visualizations and lucid dreams. Apparently, creating a fantasy or daydream before falling asleep actually triggers my lucid dreams. Read “Daydreaming About Someone You Love Creates Stunning Lucid Dreams“. I have also experimented with some of my dream characters; to my surprise, I have found out that dream characters can evolve over time. One of the dream characters with whom I have interacted over a couple of dreams is a well-known American professor and writer. See complete list of my dream characters that are based on real people in blog post, “Dance of Heroes“. His character actually changed dramatically over time; and, in one dream he warned me about protecting a trapped woman. Read “Dream Characters that Appear Suddenly to Warn“. This is when I realized that there is nothing I can do about how characters appear in my mental eye while I am writing⁠—like my dream characters, they will most certainly evolve over time.

Saying all this, I have learned one vital thing⁠—I went on a real voyage to discover this answer because I am a real champion (article 1, article 2, article 3, article 4). All the above that I just described is not really acting! Acting is something that is similar to all the above but at the same time very different. My experiences have taught me that acting is more exhausting in nature than the rest of the methods! The fact that I am a Telepath (a very sensitive person) is also preventing me from acting too much since my smart mind is bent on preventing unnecessary fatigue. Article “Acting changes the brain: it’s how actors get lost in a role” discusses how actors might suffer from Post-Dramatic Stress Disorder where they can shift into some character. Frightening! I can fully see this fine line; but, Thank God, I have not yet crossed it. However, I am sure if someone adds really deep trauma in my life, I will somehow shift into one of my characters. I strongly recommend that writers should use acting as last resort and practice care while and after acting.

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Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.