Helping Your Child Think Differently

Helping your child think differently than the rest isn’t easy, which is why I recommend smaller families instead of larger ones. But, once you have triggered the right thought at the right time, then it is actually designed to last for longer than you can imagine. Here is one of my personal  experiences.

My parents gifted me a large shelf that was filled with books when I became a teenager. It is still true that I started reading books as a child. I used to read faster and for longer simply because my governess used to hold me while I read—this is how I learned that emotional support is more critical than intelligence given that you need to successfully achieve goals within a team environment.

When I grew older, I got closer to books. I collected books slowly over several years and I even gained expertise about which Thrift Stores and online shops offer books for less. Once, a friend commented that collecting books isn’t a good idea because Canada offers us very large libraries. I reminded him gently that having your own books is psychologically beneficial because i) you don’t have to run to the library every time you need to access some critical information; and ii) you will feel more welcome in your bedroom or lounge simply because your environment is more cherishing in nature. My philosophical brain helps me entertain doubt. So, I utilized this comment to snoop around for more information. Apparently, successful individuals like Noam Chomsky and Bill Gates read a lot. I am glad that I still read and share a lot. If you ever connected with my private circle of friends, you will notice that they love me and find me more reliable because of how much I know.

books

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Unguarded

Unguarded people are extremely interesting to watch because some of them insult you without apologizing for it; others make you cry because they think that they can do so; some make you laugh till you turn into a moron; and yet others educate you through their bloopers or sophisticated teachings. The following are some categories of unguarded individuals:

  • Abused men and women who possess a distinct mental schema may state unsafe or unguarded comments or react differently than the rest to a potentially abusive situation. For instance, a divorced abused woman might tell an unmarried woman that perhaps it is time to not look for a mate any further because marriage is not for her. By doing so, she is throwing her failures on her friend and jeopardizing her chances of engaging in a successful relationship by discouraging her. Both abused men and women are unguarded because a lot of people don’t want to acknowledge that they have been abused—I feel this is because of the way their society works.
  • Abusive people are vulnerable because they may assume too many things and might be unable to visualize that the victims will find a way out even if it means sending a really odd music video to a stranger as a signal or committing suicide.
  • Individuals who possess a high level of authority are unprotected because they may start acting abusive in their quest for more goods. What they don’t realize is that they are triggering everyone else who is not comfortable with this type of behaviour. For instance, a lot of resistance fighters are created by such abusive authority figures, and they might end up doing excessive damage—so, what was the point of exerting that much influence?
  • Children who are just learning about this world are very unfortified due to their mental and physical vulnerabilities. For instance, a child wipes his peanut-butter-filled hands on the glass wall of a bus station and then screams vehemently while being dragged away by his mother. The child feels and thinks that he/she hasn’t done anything peculiar.
  • Inexperienced women are undefended because they might not know how to react to advances made by men. For example, some of them end up reacting obsessively clingy or unnecessarily frightened by a gesture as mild as smiling.
  • Inexperienced men are also very unguarded because their body including muscles develops way faster than their intellect, I think. For example, some women just look at the developed body of young men and start thinking that they know how to handle women and life and that’s where things might get rougher for these young men.
  • Strong-willed people like activists are unguarded because they seem so extraordinary to average joes and are pushed by the system to act more in control by the minute although they know that they might lose the game—sounds pressuring, eh!
  • People who assume less are vulnerable because they might easily believe that everyone is nice, honest, and loving.
  • People who assume more are unprotected because they might end up appearing really rigid even when the situation is under their control or nothing has really happened.
  • Tall and short people are undefended because they might be insecure due to their stature. For instance, some of them might start accepting that people won’t like to marry them.
  • Educated people are defenseless because some of them might start feeling that their education, possessions, and rules are grand enough to protect or destroy others; some are too humble and are constantly erased by others owing to their loving nature; some become so pushy that people end up walking away from them; and yet others may start believing in their own conception of the world.
  • Uneducated people are unguarded because they start trusting and believing in the grandness of the educated people just like the natives of the novel “Heart of Darkness” started believing and worshiping Kurtz, the antagonist.
  • Teenagers are vulnerable owing to their innate need to complete a bond formation; if they fall in the wrong hands, then they can get really injured.
  • Elderly are unprotected because their mental and physical states render them too vulnerable just like a child.
  • Dancers are unguarded because of the dance reverie they need to experience in order to satisfy themselves—some of them are like drug addicts because they get high on the hormonal changes that take place during the dance.
  • People surrounded by friends are unguarded because their friends might make them believe false things about themselves.
  • People who are not surrounded by their friends are unguarded because there might be nobody to protect them during tough times.
  • Therapists and teachers are unprotected because of the nature of their occupation. For instance, some of them develop a very strong emotional bond with those they are trying to heal and thus start enduring abuse by their patients, which they may believe is the normal route to recovery.
  • Prisoners are unprotected due to the nature of the prisons just like free people are undefended due to the nature of this world.
In essence, everyone on Planet Earth including the planet itself is unguarded. So either you can sweat about your existence and possessions—they are vulnerable by nature because a calamity can destroy them—or you can pray for safety. Ciao!
lonely and old
Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Is Wife Beating Allowed in Islam?

As a conscious and conscientious adult woman, I do not see my brain being fully functional when faced with verbal or physical abuse─abuse can cause short-term and long-term symptoms that heal slowly and sometimes the victim stays “destroyed” in many ways. This “destruction” does not improve intellect at all and neither does it make the victim’s team more functional. The first thing you should feel after realizing that you have been abused and mistreated is withdrawal and a strong need to escape. If I were a housewife who is being beaten, I would run away and have an affair with someone more caring─you know what I mean.

Mainstream media, governments, and officials started picking on Muslims and Islam after 9/11. Perhaps, they were hoping that this abuse will be met with silence because “abuse causes silence by slowly numbing the minds”─maybe, they don’t know about the health benefits of Aloe Vera. But, Muslims continued to speak out and stand out from the crowd─I commend them for this effort. Despite all these efforts, many folks will still willingly provide you with misleading information such as Islam allows cruel things like wife-beating. I remember reading Prophet Mohammad’s (peace be upon him) saying, “How can you hit your wife and then sleep with her?” When it comes to verses regarding treatment of one’s wife, the real contention is “bad translations”. Islam Awareness provides a thorough explanation by showing how different opinions have been created through varying translations. While mainstream media continues to bombard the Muslims by using ideas that aren’t really being taught by Islam, it ignores or avoids focusing on relevant news from other countries such as Russia’s move to decriminalize wife-beating─Do you know that in the movie Anna Karenina, the protagonist alludes to her country’s misogynist system by saying, “Your husband is a saint and we must all cherish him for Russia’s sake”. To make matters worse, most of us are never being told about how some Islamic organizations like the Canadian Counsel of Muslim Women are offering workshops to engage boys/men to end domestic abuse─these charity organizations don’t have sufficient budget and they still strive to provide clarity.

You know…I Gotcha!

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.