Originally Published On: Mar 18, 2017
Note: Some or most Muslim men have double standards that are deeply rooted inside their minds. They twist the issues their coloured sisters are having to make them seem demonic and unacceptable while creating excuses to help White women who have similar issues. They ignore vital things like the impact of domestic abuse; things that happen to young minds as they grow in isolation and while being misunderstood; and the need for privacy or acceptance of free choices. The Muslim Marriage crisis is just a reflection of these realities. Muslim men who just want to marry only White women while making fun of the headscarves and clothings of their Muslim female relatives or other sisters are an excellent example─I have definitely seen and heard of some of these men.
There is a marriage crisis enfolding in the North America’s among the Muslims. The Muslim youth and adults lack ideal role models, which have been fed to them by their family members. Just like the rest of the humans, they also turn to TV and movies for comfort since these are globalized cheap products. Not all the Muslim parents understand their children’s needs and a lot of them are closed towards family counseling. This is how the Muslim youth and adults, especially girls and women are challenged.
I know that lots of superb Muslim women and girls are left struggling against their family members and their double standards. They want to run away from their houses and be at a safe place where they may educate themselves and stand on their own. Despite all the religious rulings and help that are issued by some really good masjids (place of worship), the Muslims are still left struggling on their own. For some reason, the strong structure that the masjids offer ends up breaking outside─sure, there are rare cases where this beautiful supportive mentality still exists. The masjids teach you to be patient and not to judge. But outside, some Muslims judge each other; backbite each other; and, leave their friends bare. That’s how they are blending into existing trends.
Perhaps, one of the most disturbing trend that I have found inside the Canadian Muslim community is misuse and wrongful application of the Islamic laws and rulings. For instance, blame can be easily shifted to the rape victims by failing to analyze psychology and circumstances of the victims as well as the abnormal psychology of the abusers. In another example, some Canadian Muslim men and their families walk away from eligible women and girls because of the fact that they are wearing pant and shirt outside. What do they want these women or girls to do? These women and girls are living and growing in Canada. You don’t expect them to be dressed in traditional clothing 24/7, do you? They will have to go outside and work and wear pant and shirt. What is wrong with that? I have even met women who are in their early forties; have Canadian PhDs or Medical Degrees; and, are still desperately searching for a good match. I spoke with some other Muslim women and also looked at my personal experiences only to realize that a lot of us aren’t getting married because some Muslim men are looking for women who are less educated. Other interesting things I have seen or heard from reliable witnesses are ongoing physical abuse of the wife and then several successful attempts to impreganate her; divorce through email and without a third party intervention; attempts to stop investigation of rape of one’s daughter; and, polygamous marriages despite them being illegal in Canada. Truth is that there is not enough research on issues that concern Muslims; and, this is why whatever I find out and report might sound too odd to you. Only a very small number of mainstream articles discuss such issues; read the article, “A man ‘cannot do that to a woman’: Why polygamy in Canadian Muslim community could be another #MeToo moment”.
Why is all this happening inside Canada? That’s because there are some men who want to be always in control. They think that women aren’t smart enough and shouldn’t be allowed to override the judgments and thinking of the men. These men place Islamic scriptures in front of you; and, then say that that’s what it says. At the same time, they are ripping off the rest of the context and concepts; such as Muslim women may own processions and be very wealthy traders. What type of very intelligent beings are allowed to have trade and processions? According to the rest of the scriptures, Muslim women are the ones hiring men and telling them what to do and not the other way. Wow! After reviewing the whole set of scriptures, it becomes very easy to conclude that the men who keep asking women to be very obedient to them have very strong control issues. No wonder the Muslim women and girls feel so suffocated around them. Admit it! They are saying these things to them because they want the women and girls to be their puppets and just lay eggs.
My message to Muslims who are abusing the women: “Don’t Be A Weirdo! Not all women are going to comply to your fear tactics”.
Just remember, the above is true for ONLY SOME MUSLIM MEN AND FAMILIES.
Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.