This knowledge is the reason why I am still a Muslim although I have been abused in the past by Muslims and non-Muslims. Being a Muslim is a much bigger deal than just trying to fit in. I think the Muslim world stopped protecting the women because it’s people were distracted by things like TV, money, power, and status. Seeking power is known to destroy the brain, which is how some men have a strong need to continuously raid women with their words and bodies. Survivors of any sort of abuse are braver in nature because they have realized that declaring their indepencdance and freedom cripples the abusers. I think that the truly free people of this modern world will be lead by such survivors.
I was raised in a large Pakistani family. We lived in a mixed setting where people from different families used to live together. As a teenager, I faced trauma when a close relative of mine started hitting my two brothers. He wrecked their brains slowly until they started hitting the girls whenever they felt like it. There were times when one brother of mine would lock us in a room so that we may not be able to watch TV together.
True! There were many moments of peace and love among the family members. But, the reality is that all the victims grew up in a shunned and broken manner. I was called many names like “lazy”, “one who does not listen”, “procrastinator”, and “ugly”. All this was very destructive towards me because I started paying less attention to my school. I failed some classes; and, I had to take extra tuition lessons to get through. I also went through a major depression as a teenager, which was not treated fully because I never bothered to discuss it with those who would have heard me out. I used to use only my close friends to validate my needs. For instance, they used to get very surprised when I would ask them if I looked pretty or not? They would answer that, “Yes! you look really beautiful”; sometimes, I used to get scared after hearing this so I never told them that someone was always calling me “ugly” at home. Most of the times, I went through psychological abuse because someone else was being abused in front of me. I also went through mild sexual abuse as a teenager; and, I couldn’t discuss it with anyone because everyone else was busy handling other unresolved issues.
When I grew older and we moved to Canada, I got access to the Internet. I started learning things that I did not knew. For instance, I learned the words “sibling abuse”. It feels like torture reading all of this now when all this abuse is over.
In fact, research is showing sibling bullying is one of the most damaging types of bullying. By definition, it is an intentional act to hurt the other child. Sibling bullying can occur through name-calling, making negative remarks,and repeatedly putting-down the other sibling. The bombardment of negativity can be psychologically damaging and its effects can last well into adulthood. Source: Sibling Bullying.
All these memories still show in the victims in traumatic ways. For example, sometimes, we argue a lot, which is very depressing. There are only some meetings where we meet in a happy manner and leave feeling satisfied. There are sòme meetings where psychological abuse takes place in an isolated manner or in a gang setting. We are trying to work together and help each other heal. We are still healing slowly on our own and in our own way. Even then, our bonds are strong; and, we know how to give each other personal space. This is why we are learning to grow while being away from each other.
I heal quickly because I am a lucid dreamer. Lucid dreams heal PTSD, which is caused by abuse of any sort. I had a super-brain so I still managed to heal over time. But, then the worst happened. A Buddhist Canadian male raped me; he was an Islamophobe and a woman-hater. Forcing me to do certain things was easy for him because I had some trauma hidden deep inside my mind. Domestic abuse, systemic oppression offered by Canada, and previous sexual assault trauma played a vital role in allowing my past wounds to resurface. This happened while I was still a virgin so obviously I could not figure things out quickly. As soon as I figured out what was going on, I escaped this devil’s clutches. I had zero support from my family on this. One relative requested me not to discuss this with anyone. Because of this, I am trying to get away from them permanently. This time, I healed myself again by using Lucid Dreams and by educating myself about rape and sexual assault trauma─according to AJ+ video “Spitting the Truth About Sexual Assault”, rape is a crime that is 100% related only to the offender.
I feel scared while living in Canada. I feel that Canada played a very big role in causing a new sexual assault. I am revealing most of the details although I understand the importance of privacy in such matters. I have to do this because that’s how life is. There is always a strong chance that the rapist will attempt to nullify my story and the officials will side with him because Canada is a very misogynist country. There is also the chance that someone innocent will be injured even if that person has apologized and changed substantially. I still need to feel secure about who I am and what all this actually means. So I am choosing to disclose most of the details. And, I am still in love with my family. I feel more rested now!
The Reviving the Islamic Spirit (RIS) conference that took place in 2018 actually had a speech on #MeToo movement. I heard from some friends that this speech was lead by a male Imam; and, I also saw a Facebook post about why women should be leading this discourse instead.
Although I was not present there, I still thought to cover this topic. I firmly believe that it would have helped a lot if women lead this particular discussion. You see, I hang around with Muslims a lot because I am a Muslim. There are times when some of the Imams and Muslim men say random and lame things that are extremely painful for sexual assault victims to hear. For instance, reminding someone to do a good deed is a common Islamic practise so an Imam may say, “Women should not point out a rapist unless it is true and even then this needs to be investigated”. I heard from my friends that something like this was actually mentioned during the RIS conference as well. Correct! Although there is no wrong is stating this but there is always a danger of overdoing this. For example, when most of the lectures start revolving around admonishing and preaching. Utterly boring and waste of time and money!
I did some research and found out some things that some or perhaps a lot of male imams and well-educated Muslim men won’t be able to tell you.
1) Imams and religious figures are incorrect when they admonish women to be truthful about revealing that someone has raped them. This is because by doing so they are unconsciously adding the “victim blaming” mentality into the masses. I have some material about how rapists think; and, I have learned that rapists easily say, “Don’t blame me” or “You wanted all of this”. What is the difference here when an imam continuously tells the masses, “women should not be pointing out any rapist unless it is true”. A friend of mine told me that some male Imam said this at the 2018 RIS conference. Apparently, he is approaching a very sensitive topic in a very insensitive manner. I know a raped woman who went through 2 years of depression and could not get out of her bed simply because her brother said one or two mean things to her after she was raped by a stranger. Even when I started discussing the situation behind my rape with a politically connected Canadian-Muslim man who was supposedly very religious, he gradually became awkward in his communication. I only had a brief cellphone conversation with him and one face-to-face meeting. I started talking to him because I was in a new city and needed a job fast; and, because he told me that he has helped abused women in the past. One day I texted him that I was not praying because I was not feeling so well. After hearing this, he said: “Satan is effective on you.” Here is a screenshot of this conversation. His comments are inside white textboxes and mine are inside green.
I blocked all the contacts he offered me as well as his email. It hit me that day that these men are learning something wrong; and, it is a group mentality.
Seriously! This topic #MeToo is really that sensitive. We all know that sexual assault victims can injure themselves further when they are told something that does not make any sense or somehow adds to the suffocating atmosphere that they have been conditioned in. Research shows that women don’t usually lie about being raped. According to a study conducted by FBI, only 8% of the rape accusations are false. Very frankly, admonishing women to tell the truth should not even be the topic of debate because women usually do not lie about being raped. Read article, “Women Don’t Cry Rape“. Most of the stories and outcries we hear are true. Remember the case of Rehteah Parsons, the young Canadian girl who was gang raped! She was questioned so many times by some policemen and then verbally harassed by her community for speaking out that she ended up committing suicide. After being pressured by Hacktivist Anonymous community, the officials felt pressured to review her case again. This is when they conducted further investigations and found out that there were several flaws in police investigations. Read article, “Rehtaeh Parsons case review finds system ‘failed’“. I feel speeches that are centered around preaching should not be utilized for the #MeToo campaign because these are focusing masses to perform stronger investigations while ignoring the rest of the critical concepts.
2) Some imams and religious figures are doing a horrible job at protecting women. I have been to some Canadian masjids; and, I am stunned to find out that only men are sitting inside offices and earning money. This sucks! Thus, it is clear that some of these men are not promoting women. Maybe most men aren’t doing this; I don’t have stats but only experience of being “shunned” repeatedly by men. They are neglecting the women, which is how these religious figures are allowing for mistreatment including rape. Read article, “Training Programs and Reporting Systems Won’t End Sexual Harassment. Promoting More Women Will“. Just standing up on stage and then preaching about telling truth or sharing some training programs or reports don’t do anything at all. Its like everyone repeating what everyone else is saying but no one knows the way out. The reality is that everyone needs to put a massive effort to integrate women, especially colored women since Canada is a very racist country.
3) Imams and Muslim men should receive training from Muslim women and learn about female psychology before they get on the stage to address their communities. They should focus less on learning from women who belong to other communities because those women don’t know much about the Muslim community. Here is a helpful quote from the article, “Cardinal Ouellet: Women should help screen, train priest applicants“.
4) Some Muslim men and Imams are teaching Prophet Mohammad’s teachings in a very blind manner. This is why even fresh minds like the Muslim youth, the revert Muslims, and all the other eager learners are being mislead. For example, Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) once said that mothers are three times more important than men.
A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet (PBUH) said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim) Source: The Importance of Mother in Islam.
Reality is that female psychology is not discussed in detail anywhere in Islam. The only famous phrase that discusses the importance of women is the one stated above. But, what if this phrase is referring to something bigger. For instance, the article, “Gender Issues: Communication Differences in Interpersonal Relationships“states that women focus more on building closer and trustworthy relationships and men focus on building status. For any given society and household, creating reliable relationships is more important than working on maintaining status because relationships are the basis of everything. Read some of the dialogue provided in article “Gender Issues: Communication Differences in Interpersonal Relationships” to see how women can be misunderstood. For instance, it is easy for women to be labelled as “beggars” when they try to work on broken relationships.
I read in ancient Islamic text that Ayesha, the wife of Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) was a scholar. She taught many men and thus the men who came from her circle were more versed in managing women. They had the opportunity to learn from her and observe how she behaves and reacts. They must have also noticed what kind of attitude made her angry or happy. Because they were learning from her, they couldn’t have just started questioning her without questioning themselves or without asking more questions. That is how they promoted her within their society and protected the women. I must comment that I have met some Muslim and Christian men; and, I have realized that only a small number of these men have an idea about how to really integrate women without making them feel ashamed of anything they are lacking.
Saying all this, I definitely thank all the men who are trying to help me out one way or another. Make sure to share this post with your friends or family members because this is a very challenging topic; and, its not only hurting the women but also dismantling the structure and progress of religious places like Churches and Masjids. For example, I have been able to stop many bullies without training or with really less training. I once took a young confused women and fed and counseled her until she started kicking like a martial artist. How am I doing this? Shouldn’t the men be wondering how she is accomplishing all this? Shouldn’t they focus more on success cases like mine to read the rest of the women and use their skills to protect the societies and households? Read “Lucid Dreams Suggest That Women Should Be Leaders In Peacebuilding” to see why I think women should be paid really well for all their services including peacebuilding.
Before I leave, I must point out to you that the screenshot of this conversation shows that these text messages were exchanged on August 28, 2018. And, the RIS conference took place in Dec, 2018. This conversation is somehow tying into how the #MeToo campaign was handled at the 2018 RIS conference. This is an example of Telepathy or Precognition.
I have a narcissist in my life and I am trying to get away in a very methodical manner; I have to do this carefully because he is otherwise a real gentleman. How can dreams help me find out if the narcissist is going to attack again? Well! You can get a dream signal. Fact: I got this dream signal about the narcissist just today. Fact: Something is going to happen again. I say something because his behaviour is unpredictable because he apologizes often. Here is my dream:
In this dream, I am carrying my younger brother who is a baby; taking care of him; and, feeding him. I am very busy and preoccupied with these tasks and the baby. I got so bored that she decided to tail this guy to the university campus. I texted him and told him that I am coming to see him. He does not text back or perhaps says okay to my inquiry. I take this as a signal that I can go there. After wasting a lot of gas and some effort, I got to the campus. There was a class going on somewhere; a professor was talking to someone; the professor closed the door after finishing his brief conversation; then, he started listened to what his class has to say. I moved around in this interesting place. Someone is playing a piano. I can see two men sitting near the piano: one is learning and the second is teaching. I am wearing a shalwar qameez (traditional Pakistani dress) in this dream; and, so I feel surprised when two foreign men stopped to play with the baby. I let them play with my baby; and, I notice their smiles and comments in an aware manner. Somewhere in this dream, my baby brother changes his face. I feel more relaxed because I love both babies although I cannot tell who the second baby is.
I paid zero attention to all the attractive signals in this dream because I was thinking about this dude. If I paid attention to these other dream characters, then the entire dream would have different. I look around and finally find his backpack and laundry on a table in a large cafe. I leave my shoulder bag and laundry there as well. Finally, he gets there to see me. The first thing he says to me, “You guys are so controlling.” I think he meant, “Oh! so you got all the way here.” I ignored his comment and said, “I have to go buy a banana and feed it to the baby.” He thinks, “Oh! that’s nice of you.” He watches me slowly as I walk over to buy a banana.
I woke up soon after I heard this mean comment. I started wondering that if he does not want me there, then why didn’t he text me back or use a thought to convey a message? I was already so stressed from taking care of the baby. Why did he just lead me on like this? By saying mean things, he is closing my feelings so that my emotions may pent up and then I finally blow due to exhaustion. He apologizes so that I may cave into the upcoming exhaustion and become a codependent. In real life, he says demeaning things like “You are crazy” or “You need help” every now and then. Everything is at risk: my life, my career, and my independence. What if he is having fun by making me cry and that is why he apologizes right away! I feel my self-esteem is being shaken gradually. This is why I have started believing that I am dealing with a The Co-Dependent Enabling Narcissistic Cycle.
Now let us review this dream again. This man just said something degrading to me again in the dream. Dreams are a type of dimension and they can sometimes open the future. So, I will cancel some of our future meetings because I am afraid that he is going to try to label me as “controlling” this time. This dream signal showed me that he never meant anything when he apologized to me last time. Another thing that I have learned is that it is possible to use past characters from one’s life to create an alternate reality where you may see the subject of concern behave. Reality is that my younger brother is not a baby anymore; and, he is very much grown up. I just learned how to use his dream character to check on something. He is very nice, easygoing, and trustworthy man. So it is easier for me to use his dream character to create a mood to find certain things out.
So this is just one way the dreams can teach you how to stop domestic abuse. I hope you enjoyed learning from me; and I am hoping that you will soon gain this skill.
I just watched a Peace conference that just took place in Abu Dubai, “Fifth Forum for Promoting Peace in Muslim Societies” (video 1, video 2, video 3). In Video 2, Manal Mohammad Omar who is the CEO of “Across Red Lines USA” stated, “Extremists target women as perpetrators and as victims. One of the things that destabilizes a community is to destabilize the women who are usually the backbone of the community. The way this can be countered is to integrate women from the very beginning into all phases whether it is economic, security, nation building, and especially at the time of transition.”
Nice words! I already know that this is the answer simply because I was never integrated really well in Canada. I struggled a lot to achieve whatever I could achieve; and, I can see how my lack of knowledge is directly related to Canada’s inability to properly integrate qualified and talented colored women. A White friend of mine got a job after crying at an interview; and, I was not given a job because a male interviewer complained that I was not making “sufficient” eye contact. The reality is that I did make eye contact with him even when I was under pressure to make eye contact with everyone else at a panel interview. This male interviewer tried deleting an entire situation from my mind by gaslighting me. He told me that I will be working with him; and, thus I should be making eye contact with him. I felt that he wanted me to think that he was more important than the other interviewers; and, that is why he was trying to find a way to chide me. What if he was thinking of forcing me to do something later on! I mean making eye contact during sex is also very important; and, Canadian corporate companies tend to shove a whole lot of stuff about assaults and abuse under the rug. These kinds of sadistic moves are very common in Canada.
Now let us discuss how Manal’s warm words lack meaning inside my mind! According to Wikipedia, Princess Latifa is the daughter of the Ruler of Dubai and Prime Minister of UAE Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum. #FreeLatifa campaign is being run by the “UAE Civil and Criminal Justice Specialists”. According to the official website of #FreeLatifa campaign, Princess Latifa dissapeared on March 4th 2018 with the help of a French businessman and former navy officer Hervé Jaubert. She was caught with the help of the Indian Coast Guards and returned to Abu Dubai. The court issued a very brief statement that she is okay at her home, which is what tells me that we are dealing with someone who is highly narcissistic in nature. You can read some of my commentary in the blog post, “Please Help! Princess Latifa Of Dubai Is In Extreme Danger Please Help! Princess Latifa Of Dubai Is In Extreme Danger“. In this post, I have left a link to the “Human Rights Watch” page that discusses how women are mistreated in UAE.
Here are two quotes that tell you what this Princess thinks of the ruler of Abu Dubai and Prime Minister of UAE, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum.
OK! I think that all the Peace conferences and meetings that are held in UAE from here onwards should invite the princesses and any other female members of the Royal Family and should involve them in discussions about Women Rights. Obviously after reading about Princess Latifa’s condition, I am not going to sit and derive lots of lessons from Abu Dubai’s Peace conferences.
Lastly, I must comment that Manal’s words were still a bit comforting. I mean it is very hard for colored women to be properly integrated and be respected in Canada; and, that is how Canadian communities and society are very unstable in nature. So it still helps to listen to what a foreigner is telling you.
Besides rape, forced marriages are also very common in Canada. Do you know that Pakistan made forced marriages illegal before Canada? Even then, I know that there are so many ways of doing this in Pakistan. For example, a husband may act in a gentle manner to force his wife to stay out of the job market. It’s twisted behaviour that can still hide the fact that someone is being forced in a marriage.
Now, let us talk about what is going on inside Canada. I know from experience that some Canadian-Pakistani Muslim women are very abusive; and, they are very polite when they do this. Around a year ago, I was at a rather extensive house party run by a Muslim Canadian-Pakistani woman when I came across a very well-dressed and well-mannered mother. This woman said the following about her daughter, “But, we are her parents. We will decide who she is going to marry. And, we are going to marry her off when she is still young. Of course! we would like our daughter to connect with other people”. Another statement that I heard from a very nice Canadian-Pakistani Muslim woman who was at this party was, “Arzoo! It’s up to your parents to get you married. They should be doing this for you.” She said this when I asked her to help me find a good proposal. I walked away from her and that other woman; I made sure that I did not appear at any of the parties she was throwing. These kind of women are eliminating other women’s options.
Coloured women including Canadian-Pakistani women are less integrated in Canada due to the Double Glass ceiling effect, which is when it is tough for them to climb up the ladder while studying and after studying. Obviously, there are some successful cases; but, there are many fail cases that occur due to Canada’s deep integration issues.
Furthermore, Canada has laws like Occupational Health and Safety Act and laws about Discrimination and Ageism. But the reality is that these laws are not followed in the workplaces.
In my opinion, if you were to put every piece of the puzzle together, you can clearly see how Canada is allowing for forced marriages.
It pays to be very careful. Canada has all sorts of rules and still coloured people get injured a lot. Forced marriages are taking place among the White people; but, the colored people can be injured as well. For example, I was at a business networking seminar when a senior professional came up to me and tried confusing me by saying, “Your face tells me that you want children.” I looked at him; and, said that I don’t know what he wants. I have never seen him before; and, I avoided him throughout the networking session. You can tell how some Canadian men talk to women. They don’t really know what they are doing or saying.
Always keep a journal about what is happening to you in Canada. I have a large case file; first draft of a book; some printed thoughts and experiences; and, 4 digital backups of a whole lot of shit that took place here in Canada. I plan to finish writing my book, Intertwined, and show the world the true face of Canada.
I must comment that I have to firmly believe Princess Latifa’s story simply because I feel forced to do so. Several years ago, around 2012 or 2013, a close friend of mine suggested that I should apply for jobs in Dubai. He said it was a great place for women who wish to work; and, it is very well-built. At that point in my life, I was planning to get a job and be married soon. I started thinking after what he said; and, something just kept hitting against my mind like ice cold water. It was the thought: “Don’t go there. Dubai is actually bad for women. It doesn’t show on the surface; but, this is still there. There is a chance of being trapped there as well”. I asked the voice if it was sure; and, it repeated itself. I hear these voices every now and then because I am telepathic; I even get precognitive dreams, which means that I can definitely conduct telepathy during the day as well. Make sure to click on the links where I am discussing my abilities before you read Princess Latifa’s comments.
So all of this public image that he’s trying to portray human rights, its bullshit.
He’s the most evil person I’ve ever met in my life. He’s pure evil. There’s nothing good in him. He’s responsible for so many people’s deaths and ruining so many people’s lives.
So you see how crushing one woman can crush the rest as well as alert the rest. This is called the Amplification effect, which can be played in real life and during sleep. Of course! if average women can play the Amplification effect during the day, then so can the telepathic women except that they do this differently sometimes.
I must comment that there are many princesses like Princess Latifa except that they are not privileged enough to have their stories flashed on mainstream channels like BBC. People need to learn to watch out for them! This is why I am running a Facebook group called “Forgotten Femmes” to help abused women. After I took the responsibility of the Facebook group in 2013, I had time to learn about Human Rights and Women Rights. I learned mostly on my own because I needed time before making the next set of moves. In 2018, I came across the Human Rights Watch webpage and found the following data on UAE/Dubai.
UAE law permits domestic violence. Article 53 of the UAE’s penal code allows the imposition of “chastisement by a husband to his wife and the chastisement of minor children” so long as the assault does not exceed the limits prescribed by Sharia, or Islamic law. Source: Human Rights Watch, UAE.
When Princess Latifa’s story emerged in the news, I felt baffled. I knew it was easy to change this into a conspiracy theory, which is what’s mentioned in the BBC video, “What happened to Dubai’s Sheikha Latifa?”, as well. Even then, I feel forced to write this down because of the voice I heard, Latifa’s story, and feedback provided by Human Rights Watch. Please help the women of this world if you can!
I had lots of female friends in Pakistan. Because I was a Muslim girl, I only hanged around with girls. Being around with boys was out of question unless they were my cousins, my classmates, my teachers, or friends of my family—this changed when I grew older because now I had to meet my colleagues as well as men I felt interested in. So when I was younger, mostly my female friends offered me all sorts of enjoyment.
They always held my hand when I was sad; spoiled me with movies, snacks, and sleepovers; studied together and danced at weddings together; and, broke some critical rules to make me laugh. We used to have so much fun together but that was our daily routine. Gradually, something inside just died due to the fact that I got so used to everything. I needed to try new things out. But, I didn’t fully realize that this is what I needed until I arrived in Canada. I was just a teenager back then; obviously, I was pretty confused.
In Canada, I was lucky enough to meet a Buddhist Chinese-Canadian girl, L.C. She felt so awesome because she used to add a new idea inside my young mind every now and then.Yes! She was the one who got me into reading newspaper and articles related to global affairs. I felt that I became alive when she came in my life although she was just like the rest of the girls. She was a bit different than the rest because she was telepathic; that is why she could create a “lock and key” mechanism inside my mind. Whenever she talked, it felt like a mirror. Sometimes, she would say things that I needed to hear; and sometimes, I would say things that she needed to hear. We were like that despite the fact that we belonged to different cultures and religions.
Around 10 years have passed since she left me due to her domestic abuse issues—I have always known that the second L.C. would be abused, I will be abused somehow as well. But, I still miss her like hell! Ever since she has left me, I have waited for her and thought about her every year. I have scanned the web; and, I have failed. I did find out the name of the city she went to; but, I was unable to find out her address in time because we had to move away as well. I have some great friends but they cannot replace her. Her memories are so fresh in my mind that I woke up today thinking about her and ended up making seven audio recordings about how we used to be. I intend to publish this in my short story/novel “She: The Mirror”. I recorded myself crying over her because her memories are so fresh that these sting like fresh wounds. You know after ten years passed, I realized that I have lost a real sister.
I think when God created me, He created a very large puzzle and test. This is why He gave me both friends and enemies to deal with; and, He made sure that both my well-wishers and foes are very smart. But, God is very Loving so He gave me eight crazy cool tools to deal with those who wish to harm me:
I am definitely not forgetting the fact that my friends are making sure that I stay safe. The only thought that prevented me from mentioning them in this list is that my friends are not my tools. LOL!
If you ever get in real trouble, think back to what I wrote above. Oh! Watch YouTube video “Light in the Darkness Living Well After Trauma“. This video is a real blesssing because a Twitter user decided to send it to me; it’s very detailed and informative.