Finding Myself Again

Around 7 years ago, I was raped by a Buddhist Islamophobe who was a Martial Arts Dan. He got away because I was a virgin when I was raped; and, I really did not knew anything about rape trauma or how to react after the rape. I failed to request a legal investigation due to lack of family support; I did not speak to the rest of family members after an older female relative insulted and bullied me when I complained about what happened; and, I also felt worried about revictimization, which usually happens during legal investigations. The same female relative who doubted me later helped me get some medical attention; but, I still did not get any councelling except when my family physician printed some relevant material for me. All this is still considered insignificant amount of assistance! So I lived with my trauma for around 7 years and used lucid dreaming and writing to heal myself. A lot changed after I was raped. I became very scattered and frightened!

  • I changed my career
  • I changed my city
  • I stopped working out and studying Martial Arts
  • I stopped smiling and being myself
  • I gained weight
  • I developed two medical (physical) issues that were eventually permanently sorted out

I took time to recollect myself. I read therapy suggestions and research about human behaviour online; I made sure to talk to my best friend whenever the need arose; and, due to the acceptance and support offered by my best friend, I was able to gradually open up about this abuse to two other friends. As I engaged in this quest, I learned many new things about human behaviour as well as lucid dreaming. Today, I feel much healed and relaxed! Just a while ago, I was looking at my resume and writing project when I realized that I had accomplished a lot on my own; and, I did this inside Canada, a country that offers very toxic environement to women especially coloured women.

I now know what I can end up achieving if I put my mind to it. I have been harassed and intimidated by men repeatedly because violence against women is on the rise. Read “Some Of My Brutal Mental Images Of Men“. But, I am still alive and kicking in the right direction. Staying optimistic and enjoying reliable company has helped a lot! I am now able to focus on exercises and sports to manage myself; and, I will attempt to join a survivors’ support group  too. I will try to find that Martial Artist—before the rape, I had a white belt in Karate and Taekwando—who almost got killed 7 years ago.

IMG_4111

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Canada Is A Very Sexist Country

I find Canada is an extremely dangerous place for women! Its a place where talented women cannot win and are bound to be crushed one way or another. For example, I did not pursue a Master in Sciences despite having great marks⁠—which are tough to score at University of Toronto⁠—because I realized that the female faculty members were not offered sufficient grants. Read “Canada’s Undiscovered Geniuses“. How are these women supposed to satisfy the “Trial and Error” phase of experimentation if they do not have enough grants?

Here is a really funny story. I was once sitting in a group for one of my classes when a guy said something that seemed smart but felt very basic to me. As I participated in the conversation, I noticed that he was getting more attention for some reason. It did not show all the time because the group was a very balanced groupthere were both strong and weak members in this group. But, there were instances where I felt that he received unnecessary attention. Of course, I felt stabbed at this sexist scene! But, all this bullshit does not end here. Canadian workplaces are filled with men who talk about porn and sex openly; who blame their victims after raping or mistreating them; and, who tell even the most qualified females that they are lying or not making any sense. Just recently, I was “let go” from a job because my male manager decided that I should not be allowed to finish my three month probationary training. This systemic abuse is very common in Canada. It is so common that other supervisors and Human Resources professionals do not even challenge what exactly is going on. Read this event in detail “Playing Unfairly Against Women Is The Norm In Canada”. And, it gets way deeper than that!

Read the following articles to learn further:

Canada’s legal system is sexist and broken

Canadian politics are sexist. What are men going to do about it?

Canadian girls experience sexism early and often according to new report by Girl Guides of Canada

My experience tells me that women especially smart and well-informed women have considerable difficulty finding stable jobs and staying safe. I have learned this over time! And, I know that there are many other women including White womenI have talked to some of these ladies myselfwho find Canada pretty weird.

I have been surviving by learning things in detail. For example, I have learned over time that females and men who are fathers are very likely to protect the women better at workplaces. Once I got a job pretty fast when a female executive referred me. This seriously felt like telling a cool genie what to do by snapping my fingers! Even then, there are lots of “missed chances”. This type of crime needs to be combated, which I feel can be done with the help of the women and men who genuinely love the women in their lives.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Why I Think Writing Is The Best Way of Shunning Rapists And Rape Culture

I have spent some years of my life in Pakistan. When I was a teenager, I wrote a powerful piece in my personal diary; I was still sitting in my high school when I composed this. I wrote this to make sense out of my thoughts that had scattered after I read a news article about rape of some Pakistani woman. I jotted down my thoughts and shared this with my friends. Within minutes, a teacher came to me and forcibly took my diary from me. She made it look like that I had written something evil and negative by adding stigma in my mind as well as those who were watching or participating in this cruel act. I still feel shocked when I think about how I had this freaky experience when I was just learning to communicate. I guess I was in bad hands back then! Anyways, I stayed true to myself and my needs when I grew older. Here in Canada, I can share written content; but, I know that the Canadian women are not really free in many ways.

I believe writing is the most effective method for handling rapists and rape cultures because rape is a very sensitive issue and there is less support for victims.

  • The current Canadian justice system is filled with flaws; and, testimonies of the victims can be easily used against them or the cases can be deemed unfounded. This is true for several other countries.
  • Most of the abusers know their victims up close; and, rapists are usually masters of emotional blackmail. This is why it is easier for victims to leave the city and contacts of their abusers and start a new life.
  • Most rape victims find it very difficult to acknowledge what actually happened to them. Read article “Why most rape victims never acknowledge what happened”.
  • Some rape victims are actually victims of domestic abuse and attempting to throw a rapist in jail could mean jailing a family member as well.
  • Sometimes it takes several years for the rape victim to come to terms and learn about what actually happened. Not all rape victims are educated about things like “Stockholm Syndrome”.
  • Sometimes it is very tough to receive support from family members. This could daunt even the most independent type of women.

This is why you should use writing to channel your thoughts and trauma:

  • Writing thoughts and experiences can heal the trauma.
  • It is possible to hide critical details and publish the work as fiction.
  • It is possible to overcome issues that caused the actual rape through writing: for example, the victim was unemployed when she walked into the wrong hands.
  • It is possible to shed light on society’s ills that have caused the rape.
  • Whenever victim’s trauma returns, all one has to do to feel empowered is open the book he/she wrote and start reading.
  • Victims can share their experiences without fear that someone else would inject their toxic thoughts into their victimized mind.
  • Victims’ work will stay in responsible hands of those who seek knowledge even after the victims have passed away.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Do Not Text Me Around 1 A.M. In The Night Given That We Are Working In Professional Setting And I Am Not Your Close Friend

Tonight, a White male businessman who belongs to the events industry texted me a lame hello when I logged into my Facebook. I was up late because I was taking a small break from work and because I could not sleep well since I rested in the evening. I frankly told him that I am not his close friend so I do not expect him to text me outside regular business hours. Anyways, nobody bugs me that late in the night; and, I find it very bizarre that he did this given that I have met him only once while networking.

Abuse of female professionals is very common in Canada. I have been abused a couple of times; and, I feel that my human rights are being gravely violated due to this but some people are not willing to acknowledge this. Ah, I complain whenever I can and to whoever I can!

Once a friend told me that usually people who bug someone do this when they find someone alone because it is easy for such incidences to be changed into a “He Said, She Said Story”. But the reality is that some of these men are very abusive and misleading in nature, which is why rate of workplace abuse is on the rise in Canada. Once two male professionals booked a job interview with me and did not show up at all. I emailed them reminding them that they need to reconnect with me but they did not reply back. As a result, I deleted them from my LinkedIn account. Another senior professional told me that my face looks like I want to have babies. I told him to stop and continued newtorking with other people while fully ignoring him. Read “Forced Marriages And Rape Are Common In Canada“. In another networking event, a male professionl had to intervene because he felt that a drunk male professional was reacting a bit strongly towards me.

All these men were extremely lousy; even some female Canadian professionals are just big bullies; and, there are more of such assholes! I think that without strong intervention, such incidences are going to continue; and, I am actually feeling very sick of all of this. I posted briefly on Twitter tonight at 1 am; but, I am an Empath so just noting things on Twitter does not make any sense given how serious this situation really is. Like the rest of such men, I have blocked him from my professional social media accounts; and, I have also made a note of where he works so that I may not apply there. Actually, I have a very long list of Canadian professionals who have mistreated or harassed me in the workplace and whom I wish to avoid at all costs! I feel Canadians need to act more harshly towards such abusive people in order to make sure that this trend does not continue; I also feel that they need to get rid of the Glass Ceiling Effect since it is hurting the vulnerable parties. Watch video “Workplace Bullying: The Silent Epidemic“. Watch till the very end; and, you will notice that the female victim is left stranded without a job because  employers are noticing her name and know that she complained about being abused. What does this tell you about some Canadian employers?

I have finished writing this post; and, I feel less burdened. That is how I can think clearly now! Thus, I must end this post by saying thanks to all the men and women who tried keeping me safe during my stay in Canada. I feel I will sleep very peacefully now!

IMG_4036

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Teach Girls To Protect Each Other At An Early Age

When I was a teenager, God put me through a scary trial. We lived in a small village in Pakistan. It was usual for us to get chased by a large mob of young men when we would go to study tuition. We tried solving this together by staying close to each other; identifying how the mob used to form and who were the participants; and, then finally complaining to one of our teachers in a group setting. My participation in this process was limited to listening to the teacher; never walking without my group; and, making sure that the ladies made sure to change their route. He advised us to always change our route.

We tried this a couple of times and the mob stopped. Perhaps, he talked to the boys and their parents too because apparently some of these young men were also students. Anyways, this situation proved very frustrating for us. I clearly remember that a young sweet lady later got very angry when another man chased us on his bicycle. She was my friend and from my group so I knew her character. What she did next did not make any sense to me. She took her slipper off and threw it at that man’s face. When I grew older, I researched what happened to her and realized that her character shifted due to the abuse we were being put through; and, thus she became a bit violent. Well! This little bit of violence is not a big deal given that we also used to get stared by mobs of young men who used to climb the walls of our academic institute. So stressful! So this is how I completed some of my studies in Pakistan.

Anyways, when I grew older and felt that I could handle some added responsibility, I started working on “Forgotten Femmes“. Over time, I realized that I was able to react more strongly to women’s needs because I learned to do this while I was just a teenager. This is why I feel that we should teach our girls how to protect each other when they are younger; it makes sense to me that they should be offered proper and mandatory training when they enter their teenage years. They will always end up using these skills later in life!

four women in front of green bushes

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Creating Income For Two And Not One Woman

I am very excited today! When I started dreaming as a child, I never realized that this ability would eventually lead me to a real breakthrough and that I would be able to set an example for the society that they will never forget.

Today, I am finalizing my content for my first workshop; and, I have already shared this content with another new female speaker. I am happy that the workshops that I will design will not only protect me but also this new female speaker. I can’t believe I have done this! This is a great example for other people who belong to the Canadian society where women’s needs are being neglected in a methodical manner⁠—neglect is a type of abuse that is offered to the women.

This is an example of the Amplification Effect, which was used by women to fight gender bias in the White House. I strongly suggest to the women that they help each other out if they wish to escape the dark future Canada offers them.

cowomen-pd5FVvQ9-aY-unsplash

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Playing Unfairly Against Women Is The Norm In Canada

I have stated it several times on my blog that I have been observing gross misuse of Canadian women including colored and White women. Here is a personal story that I wish to share:

I once got a job with a cellphone distributor, WowMobile; I was not afraid of standing and selling at a kiosk because I wanted to learn how to sell. I have really less experience in Sales; however, in a previous job I did manage to generate  over 4000 dollars in a day. I got this job when I showed this figure to the male manager who was interviewing me.

I was new to the cellphone industry so I learned slowly. I was given three month probationary. I spoke to a female supervisor about what is evaluated during the probationary period. And she stated that mostly they look at attendance and punctuality; but the rest is up to the Manager. So I made sure to be there an hour or 30 minutes earlier. I was learning slowly because I was learning about six cellphone carriers; multiple software; and different features of several cellphones. This job was not easy at all. On top of all this, we were standing inside a mall where stopping people is somewhat tricky. Anyways, I kept positive and kept learning. I got a pat on my back when I generated my first sale; one of the top sales rep said that I generated this sale too fast, which is a great indication. Every employee was given a weekly target. Sometimes my target was 7; other times it was 5; but on special promo days it was more than 10 sales. Within the first month, I was unable to achieve my weekly goals because I had to learn too many new things fast. My female supervisor showed me another senior sales rep’s performance and said that this rep also did not achieve her targets for some weeks; a sales rep told me that she made her first sale totally on her own during the third month. So I decided to think less about reaching assigned goals and more about learning how to generate sales with company’s unique set of instructions. Reality is that I was generating sales every now and then; but, I was just not hitting the target for some reason, which could, on some days, also be due to mall traffic.

Anyways my manager ended up firing me after around one month of training—this was a part-time job so I actually had less than a month of training. I felt he did something very selfish and fishy because 1) he denied me further training and fired me without due reason after giving me exposure to this complex industry for a couple of days; 2) After hiring me, he hired a male rep who already had 6 months of experience with this company. I felt that although he kept saying that he wanted me to generate more sales—while the female supervisor and a sales rep were telling me something different—he actually wanted me to leave because he wanted to keep this new male rep whom he hired after he recruited me. This makes sense too because at that kiosk there are only two females and the rest are males.

Once all this happened, my mind TIC TOCed back to a comment issued by a senior female Sales and Marketing expert who works in a different company and city. She clearly stated that the men in this industry are playing very unfairly against the women. Another thing that I remembered pretty well at this time was how a couple of my relatives are discouraging me from performing or writing poetry. Obviously, I felt distraught at this comment as well and my performance must have dipped on its own because the comments are coming from someone who is supposed to cherish their young ones in order to help them develop further. This is how I know why men are outnumbering women even in those fields where women can easily performthe women are leaving because they know that certain men are not going to be able to provide appropriate guidance that will  help them develop themselves.

So the benefit of doubt is also not given to females as they train themselves to become job ready. Sometimes they hide this reality by saying it was up to the Manager to decide this and other times they hide things by contorting information and forming lies.

Anyways, I ended up looking for any relevant reviews about WowMobile online and found lots of negative comments about Management and how their sales structure (target) works.  

Living in Canada has proven to be very challenging! Canada’s domestic abuse and workplace abuse rate are both going up. Also, brain injuries that are being created due to domestic abuse are considered a health crisis in Canada; I know that workplace abuse can also create brain injuries. The article about brain injury reminds me how I could not perform so well near some bad narcissistic employers but my performance ended up improving dramatically in healthy environmentsthis is because narcissists can inflict certain kinds of brain injuries including seizures.

Now here is more creepy real news:

  • Ever since I have arrived in Ottawa, I have been abused multiple times by employers. I am getting them caught wherever I can. I once had an employer who took money from my wage subsidy, which comes from my taxes, and decided to train me for one month. However, he left me without guidancehe left someone else in charge but that person was also very busyfor several days as he flew over to another country. Then, he told me that I have not finished what was required and that I was asking him to babysit me by asking so many questions. I did not understand what he said because he was supposed to train me and my leftover questions were only about the provided projects. Anyways, I complained to the HR expert who helped sign the wage subsidy contract; she was very puzzled when she learned about the employer’s comment and then learned about the scope of my approach and projects. I made sure to block this guy from my contact list. I have previously noted in my blog that a lot of my time is being wasted because I feel forced to block some abusive employers. It takes so long to make this list!
  • Ever since I came to Ottawa, I have been getting lucid (clear) dreams about rapists. I researched later to find out that the rate of rape is increasing in Ottawa. Read my blog post Many Rapists Are Hiding In Ottawa.
  • Women’s shelters are overflowing in Ottawa. Read “Women fleeing violence forced to seek refuge outside Ottawa“.

All of this tells you exactly what about Ottawa? I think Ottawa is one of the most dangerous cities of Canada. And, Ottawa is the capital of Canada! So if the capital city has such harsh stats, then what about the rest?

I strongly recommend to Canadian women that they should attempt gaining experience abroad in a safer country. I am going to attempt this as well. I pray to God that I end up leaving Canada and end up settling in a safer country.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Some Men Cannot Select Women Properly Due To Movies

Movies are creating standards for what is accepted and what is not. For instance, very slim models—some of who are suffering from Anorexia Nervosa—are showcased as the most desired women. Obviously, this is very harmful for the rest of the women. Here is my personal story.

Once I came across this rather interesting, attractive, and smart Pakistani-Canadian guy. I was curious about him so I started talking to him. Later I found out that he was not my type. For example, once I was hanging out with him when he said that my hips are large just like any other Pakistani women. I felt surprised that he said this since I was not wearing revealing clothes. Furthermore, I knew he was mistaken because my hips are not too large and not too slim. Anyways, I realized that he wanted someone skinny. I left him soon after I heard him say a couple of more rude things—including asking for premarital sex—to me that did not make any sense to me.

Today, I was reading browsing the web when I found the article “The 11 Physical Features Men Can’t Resist, According to Science“. This article clearly stated that men find women with large hips (waist to hip ratio of 7:10) more attractive. I think my ratio is around there! According to the article,”Does Hip Size Affect Childbirth? An Expert Explains What “Childbearing Hips” Actually Mean” hip size does not influence childbirth. But, I am gathering that men still find big—appropriately sized—hips attractive.

So movies have done this to some men! Some of them are really looking for perfect women who are not that attractive but they mistakenly feel that they are. You know what I mean! Phew! I am so glad that I left him before developing a serious relationship. Apparently, he did notice my looks, hair, manner, and intellect; but then there were other things about him that made him undesirable to me. Of course! like men, I am selective too; but, I only require good manners and intellect as well as appropriate attraction. And, I know that I won’t get distracted by whatever I have seen in the movies because I always scan for brains first.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

South Asian Women Face Ongoing Harsh Abuse In Canada

I have stated in my blog that I have experienced abuse from members of the Pakistani and Muslim Canadian community as well as the Canadian community. Once this Pakistani-Canadian man questioned me why so many people are willing to target me. I looked right at him and realized that the Pakistani-Canadian men and most Canadian men don’t realize what we women are going through—I removed him from my network since his statements confirmed my existing suspicions.

Read the article “The Intersectional Oppressions of South Asian Immigrant Women and Vulnerability in Relation to Domestic Violence: A Case Study“, which is written by Dr. Ferzana Chaze and Archana Medhekar and published by the Ontario Bar Association.

The literature informs us that immigrant South Asian women can experience multiple oppressions both from within the South Asian community as well as on account of being a racialized minority group in Canada. Source: “The Intersectional Oppressions of South Asian Immigrant Women and Vulnerability in Relation to Domestic Violence: A Case Study“.

Read the article “What Are Immigrants’ Experiences Of Discrimination In The Workplace?“, which is published by The Toronto Immigrant Employment Data Initiative. 

For visible minority immigrants, fluency in English or French increases reports of discrimination in the workplace. Source: “What Are Immigrants’ Experiences Of Discrimination In The Workplace?

Read “Douglas Todd: Female foreign students endure harassment, exploitation“, which is written by Douglas Todd and published on Vancouver Star.

The young women are frightened, especially when exploitative employers in the underground economy threaten to report them to immigration officials. Source: “Douglas Todd: Female foreign students endure harassment, exploitation“.

Here are some of my blog posts that discuss abuse of Canadian women including South Asian women like me:

How An Ottawa-Based Quran Teacher Emotionally Abused Me

Why I Believe Some Or Perhaps Most Pakistani Households Dismiss The Females

Do You Feel You Are Being Isolated From A Group?

How Some Canadian Muslim Men Are Abusing Some Of The Canadian Muslim Women

Some Colored Women Are Told A Lie That Appearing “Reasonable” or “Great” Should Get Them Jobs In Canada

Canada Is One Of The Worst Countries For Women

Discussing Personal Issues While Eating Shows Real Concern

Why Some Abused Canadian Employees Do Not File A Report

Some Of My Brutal Mental Images of Men

Should Women Be Teaching The Bad Guys In The Light of #MeToo Campaign?

Documentary “Fatal Silence” Reveals The Realities of Domestic Abuse Faced By Muslim Women

Contorting Information Inside Canadian Workplaces

Be Aware of Some Imams or Muslim Men Who Are Trying to Handle #MeToo Discussions

Forced Marriages And Rape Are Common in Canada

Muslim Women, Be Wary of Family Members Who Keep Quiet When You Are Injured

Narcissists Like It When Victims Cave In

Some Canadian Muslim Matchmakers Are Very Lame

Some Canadian Muslim Men Are Abusing Muslim Women

2 out of 3 Canadians: Lack of Sexual Consent, Pornography, and Sex Trafficking

How Some Professional Men Are Literally Throwing Some Canadian Women Out of Their Homes

Capitalizing on Muslim Marriage Crisis

“What’s Next?” Does Not Work in Canada

Canada’s Double Glass Ceiling: Where Should Canadian Women Go?

About Canadian Workplaces: I Was Telling You The Truth!

Bollywood vs Hollywood

And, there are more blog posts…

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.