How Abusers Lie?

Abusers lie to you in a very fishy manner so that other people may not find out what its about. I had lots of abusers in my life and I am still trying my best to stabilize my condition. Here is something you might hear from an abuser:

Why are you blowing the horn right away about the possibility of your success? You don’t have an offer by a sponsor yet? Why be so happy about your first couple of tries?

The people who are watching this abuse and perhaps even enjoying it don’t understand what exactly is going on because they aren’t smart enough or educated enough. They don’t know that victim’s behaviour is motivated by the following phrase:

Believe that you have already succeeded before you even begin the task. (Source: “How to be Successful at Sponsorship Sales” by Sylvia Allen.)

Here is a screenshot from Chapter 53.

believe-in-success

So this is how the abusers are twisting critical images that are already inside the minds of the victims. They do this on purpose so that the victims may not realize how to succeed in their lives.

Here is another very important example of how abusers lie to their victims. Protective and loving humans tend to make women feel a lot of positive emotions when they stand next to them. But, the abusive humans can make the women feel crowded with negative emotions when they stand next to them.  This shows really well in photos in form of altered facial features such as a genuine smile and a faked grin. It is easy to tell if a woman is happy or unhappy while standing next to someone because their minds can keep playing a game of avoidance while they are near the abuser. For example, the mind can play the emotion “frustrated” many times when the victim tries to lie to the self.

I can cope for a bit, I think.

In many cases, abuser’s apology does not play anything inside the victim’s numb mind. This is because even the victim’s mind has a limit set inside and it knows when she cannot handle things anymore.

Furthermore, they attempt to reverse how the memory nodes are originally set up. For instance, the original information is as follows:

I will network, connect, and move on in my life; I will make more safe friends who will offer me appropriate emotional support.

Once the abuser finds this out, they strive hard to make one think incorrectly. For example, they may say many twisting things to prevent the behaviour that may lead to freedom and stability. Below are some examples:

Why what’s going on?  Who is more important than your family that you are sharing these things with that person instead of us?

Quit performing outside! You can perform in front of us all the time and we will complement you.

Don’t show your house (like I do with my favourite guests) to your friends because people can bring positive and negative vibes with them.

Look at the nature of these comments: They are all playing on the idea of love, support, friendliness, and morality; but, they are designed to destabilize the victim’s personal network.

Lastly, the abusers are demented and vindictive in nature. For instance, if the victim has become incapable of praying due to lack of focus that is caused due to domestic abuse, then they offer spiritual assistance by stating the following:

Looks like you need to be patient about all of this. Since you are not praying anymore, I can state that the Devil (Shaytaan) is very effective on you.

But, they never say that you have been emotionally abused and perhaps you will remember how to pray well after you have left the abusive situation. And, if they were to say this all after hearing your commentary, then that would be their last attempt after they are done running their verbal tricks on the rest of your mind.

How scamming and cunning does this all sound to you? I must tell you that even I started believing my abusers for a little bit but then my mind didn’t conform fully to these tactics. So I did some readings and found out that they were lying to me.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Lucid Dreamers are Historic Entities

Do you find it queer that I, an ENFP, am documenting Canada’s Dystopia after and before 9/11 and that Anne Frank, an ENFP, documented the Nazis. You will see the results in my second novel “She: The Mirror”.

Further Readings

    1. Racism in Canada, Issues in Canada
    2. Opinion: Indigenous peoples in Canada exist in ‘dystopian present’
    3. Restorying Canada: Margaret Atwood, Leah Kostamo on the yin and yang of utopia and dystopia
    4. How the Police Generate False Confessions: An Inside Look at the Interrogation Room

“She: The Mirror” will be published some years after the publication of my first book, “Intertwined”.

Oh! I even look a little like Anne Frank (see her picture). Here is one of my pics from teenage years.

Odd right!

arzoo

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Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Many Rapists Are Hiding in Ottawa

Ottawa is a small place and maybe that is why I had around 3 dreams of some rapists abusing me or perhaps some other women─it is difficult for me to realize if it was someone else because the women felt very familiar to me. I am not going to narrate all of these dreams but I will share the one that just took place tonight on June 06, 2018 around 9:00 pm.

A family had arrived to the mall and some of the younger members of the family had decided to stroll away from their parents and navigate the mall. This was a big mall and there was another set of stairs that led to a large shop where a friendly man was standing at the Reception Window. He asked them to come inside because the shop wasn’t closed yet. One of the girls went inside with his brothers and asked the older woman to come inside as well. They went over some clothing and were told that each piece is like worth only $2.00. The younger woman quickly grabbed a dress, paid, and ran outside with her brothers. The older woman slowly looked over the dresses as she was having trouble deciding. All of a sudden, the lights were turned off. She turned around and noticed a large figure looming over her. First she looked away thinking that she is mistaken and the lights will soon turn on again. Then, she looked at the figure again and felt him attempting to grab her. She thought quickly about fighting back.

I got scared and woke up. I quickly thought about what I just saw and slowly came to terms with myself that I have been getting rape dreams ever since I moved to Ottawa. I did some research online and found out that sexual assault is on the rise in Ottawa. I trust my visions because I get a lot of precognitive dreams─feel free to review them under the “Lucid Dreams” category. Kindly be vigilant about any reports because I know women really well and thus I know that rape reports are rarely false─I mean who wants to talk about strange men making moves on their bodies and minds while they are crying for help?

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Dream Characters that Appear Suddenly to Warn

I once had a very lovely lucid dream that came true the second I woke up. I saw a young girl dressed in white standing alone in a room that’s inside a construction site. Then, I saw two male dream characters anxiously staring at her through some sort of well-like opening that was part of this building. One of them who looked like an American professor I sometimes read used a rope to climb down the building. Then I woke up.

I scanned my Facebook immediately because I had a feeling that my male dream character (based on a very smart American professor) was trying to send me a signal of some sort. Soon, I found out that an acquaintance of mine was being abused on Facebook. I tried to stop this cyberbullying by telling her about several resources including PrevNet.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

She: The Mirror

I am in the process of writing this novel with the help of another author. She: The Mirror is about women abuse and how it is caused by society, peers, friends, and family. I will attempt to emphasize Abnormal Psychology,  societal trends, domestic abuse, and Canada as Dystopia in the pre- and post-911 era. I will also clash Buddhists and Muslims of Canada to show how they participate in mistreatment of women by using misleading personal and religious ideas. My inspiration for this novel is a Buddhist Chinese woman who was a close friend of mine and whom I lost a long while ago. She was a bit psychic just like me so obviously I was very close to her. Only some of this book is based on personal experiences. I am writing this book because I really need people to see how Canadian women are mistreated in Canada.

So far, I have written many pages and recorded many audios. I am going to lose myself in this book soon after my “Event Management” program is over. Here is a snippet:

Protagonist: Sofia is snobby all the time. “Don’t do this. Do that. Don’t come in my room”. Her attitude implies that she wants to hang out but only if she wants to hang out. It is never about the other person who needs emotional support. Misfits! And, she talks like monkeys like last time she said, “Your butt cleavage is showing!” Right! Hang On! If its showing, then why don’t you cover it for me? You are my sister, aren’t you?  And, why do you have to complain like this in front of father? Then, she scolds me over nothing sometimes, “What are you doing? Don’t go out with this other woman. She is a grown woman but she is crazy all of a sudden”. I cannot believe that she said all this about my best friend. Has she lost her nuts?  I mean “this other girl” is the “only girl I can talk to without being neglected”. And, my sister is always saying things like “Don’t say anything to your dad. Don’t challenge him. Just sit quietly there and listen to him”. Right! the implication is that he should be able to pound me if he wants to. I think she purposedly targets the things and concepts that I somehow hold precious and without fully realizing what she is doing.

Younger brother notices everything, picks up his toy lamp and farts in it a couple of times; then, he offers it to the older sister and says, “Here sister, some ‘fruits of nature'” for you.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Do Women Allow for Abuse?

Some people say a lot of things to women like they are willing to be abused or that they can handle mistreatment. Here is a brief comment from my end: Men do the same but nobody sits there and uses this ability against them. Scroll to 9:38 for “Journey to America” by Akbar Ahmed. Farhan, the former President of the Local MSA, states that when he was being beaten by some men, he was unable to respond because he knew them. Truth is that most of the abusers who like punishing women actually know them one way or another. So, some women are reacting just like some men when it comes to reactions like these. I wonder if this reaction is tying into “Empathy” and not just “Tend and Befriend” response!

Bollywood vs Hollywood

I just watched the video “Bollywood’s Problem with Women” on Twitter and YouTube. I agree with this video because I am from Pakistan and I have been forced to observe a lot—these memories of a specific city of Pakistan are around 18 years old because I have not visited that country for this long. For instance, as a Pakistani teenager, I used to get stalked daily by young men and teenagers. Cruel and confusing wild gestures like winking, blowing kisses, and physical advances (sexual harassment) were normal for them. Tons of boys used to cling to the Women’s-Only high school and stare at them. Thus, all the girls used to always form large gangs and move together. So all this caused some men to become very protective towards me and the other girls who were involved in all this. Another thing that was common in Pakistan was how adults and children in some households used to watch porn together simply because it was considered a group thing—most of this was Western porn. It felt very ridiculous and confusing because we were just teenagers and growing slowly—bond formation is a big deal for teenagers so it is very easy to learn about porn while visiting a close friend. Not only we were being offered mixed messages that affection and gender interaction allow only men to tease as many women as possible but we were also being peer pressured to watch porn. By the way, I survived all this abuse because I was lucid. Even when I was not engaging in vivid lucid dreams, my body would release healing energy and I used to heal quickly. 

In contrast, Hollywood paints a different picture altogether. We have Wonder Woman who is flying in her nickers and killing as many muscled, abusive, and murderous men as possible. And, she always wins! I have no idea how she always wins but the reality is that the people who are showing you this believe in HYPER-RESPONSIBILITY. For example, Canada’s legal system is hyper-responsible; and, they expect too many things from women but they don’t give them timely and sufficient support. This is why in North America, “men walking away from women after using their assistance” has become an established trend. In addition, some Canadians crave porn. Porn and sex is a common topic of discussion in many Canadian schools, colleges, and universities. I even heard a funny comment by a White girl that her boyfriend teaches her about sex and she don’t really know what he is doing. Just a thought: that’s not how it is done through marriage that is considered an actual contract according to Islam. Rape and abuse of the female gender is a type of thing that is underreported in North America. Watch this video where a newscaster talks about how live rape that was showcased on Facebook was not reported in a timely manner—this story reminds me of how I intervened and gave some information about Anonymous Hacktivist community, tips about detecting abusive people, and PREVNet to a woman who was being cyber bullied on Facebook. To learn more about exploitation of women as it takes place in Canada, read my blog post “Canada’s Need for Porn and Sex Trafficking“.

Seriously! Hollywood and Bollywood are creating more Dysfunctional families and societies. We are being raised in an era where money and happiness are being controlled by only few individuals. Thus, these channels are the cheapest to get when one is feeling emotionally neglected but they are only adding to the existing problems. Do you know that managing stress means having sex? Do you know that porn is related to emotional trauma? I think that a lot of younger people who are doing these things have previous history of harsh abuse.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Silent Treatments

Some abusive households function in a covert manner. For example, they may choose to neglect only one person who chose to speak out. Usually, the victim is a female because they are easier to victimize due to their strong “tend and befriend” response. One way of neglecting her is to lock her in the house and do not invite her to shopping or take her out to family vacations. All this can be done under the guise of “she has to take care of the house”. These things could be done in a modern country like Canada and nobody will know about this because the victim could have become “verbally shunned” simply because she can see these negligent patterns.

This kind of thing happens to those who have been emotionally abused before; are economically less stable (like a blogger or an artist); or live in a house that’s lead by only men. You know, wherever the Abuse Cylce is somehow still intact!

If you come across such a woman/girl, please act responsibly and help her fit into this society because she might have been neglected for years and knows less about the outside world. You will notice that she won’t tell you anything about her condition while she is staying with her parents and she may not bring her parents up again once she has fled the situation.

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Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Some Canadian Workplaces Are Very Abusive Towards Women

I resigned 4 times from bad Canadian workplaces. I am an immigrant and I came to Canada from Pakistan thinking that I will have a life and some freedom here. But, I have gone through thorough abuse here and I am noticing that many people including some teachers, professors, and health care providers are trying to discourage women from speaking out for themselves. Their motto is, “her personal information is nobody’s business and its safer that way”. That’s a lie! It is not safer that way. Abusive men will have a stronger say that way because they will end up thinking that “she is easy to abuse”; “she is naive”; or “she is okay with all this”.  This is why I have been pushed to believe that living in Canada is just like living in a very abusive country like Ukraine where cops rape women and everyone stays quiet.

First, I used to think that maybe my attitude needed some change. Every now and then, I used to wonder as to why my own thoughts would get directed towards my attitude? I mean when I got to Canada, I was an extrovert. Maybe, some abusive Canadian people tried to change me into a quieter person but these kind of scare tactics don’t work for long. When I started investigating about what was going on, I found out that many White women and not just the colored women were complaining. A White woman once told me that she was being forced to volunteer. Another White woman frankly informed me that she did not get a job because of how young she looked. If White women are being put through this, then obviously the colored women are being abused in harsher ways. A lot of times, the abusive men are getting away with this because they are abusing younger women; immigrants who do not know the entire Canadian system fully; or those who are already stuck behind multiple barriers that are erected by this racist country that has a very well-defined gap between the rich and poor.  Read “Harassment and Violence in the Canadian Workplace; An Issue on the Rise” by The Canadian Resource Centre for Victims of Crime.

Seriously! I am getting abused despite being so well-connected, educated, and experienced. I still do not have sufficient time or money to get a lawyer and sue my offenders. That’s why there is no written record of this abuse except for what I have already documented or discussed with my friends and advisors. And, that’s why my heart is getting affected and I am running into breathing issues. I wonder what is being done to those women who aren’t as privileged as I am! I am always more than happy to resign because I bring down my abusers every time I do this. You know what I mean!

Here is my message to all the women of this world: If you want risky adventure in your life like entertain the possibility of having your character assassinated, being murdered or raped, or enduring the state of invisibility, then you may decide to work in some Canadian workplace. Remember that only some Canadian workplaces keep the women physically, economically, and psychologically safe and the rest offer grave health risks to them and their loved ones; also remember that according to Canadian Women’s Foundation, two-thirds of Canadians do not know about Sexual Consent. I am writing a book about this; please, make sure to get your own copy once its completed and published. I am even running a Writing group for women only due to all of this. This way, we won’t be granting any abusers any opportunity to “open and close” the victims.  I know that all these fails are actually dictating a win, which is why I do not feel lost about things.

Abusers make a big mistake when they misuse and mistreat people. They do not read them properly and they do not give them a chance to be read in a safe manner. They failed to read the following:

  1. I am a writer who stays quiet until she is done observing something.
  2. I am a great chess player and I slowly learn how to reverse all the moves.
  3. I am very stubborn, which is why I always follow up.
  4. I love using strategies to resolve conflicts; so if you are offering me even a tiny bit of doubt about something then I will definitely investigate it in detail.
  5. I am a genius but I haven’t fully discussed this in public yet. This is another reason why this fact is still undiscovered.
  6. I am a Rajput and thus I belong to one of the most brilliant races of this world. I once walked back home after a sparring match with a broken foot. Indian Rajputs have kind of that body type and endurance. I still have a mark on one of my foot. It’s my trophy!
  7. I heal faster simply because I am lucid.
  8. People and strangers love me.
  9. I don’t believe in the usual types of heroes that are shown by Hollywood, Bollywood, and Warner Bros although I give people the other impression when I am wasting my time. This is because I know that the real champions are made up of something different than what we all have come to believe.

By the way, classic mistakes like these can cause historical changes. But, in Canada these kind of mistakes are becoming the norm!

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.