Innocence

Today, I am reading another one of Barbara Cartland‘s clean romance novels and loudly laughing at my older self.  My mother gifted me my first copies of Dame Barbara Cartland‘s Regency Romance novels when I was a teenager. Here are some of my precious thoughts on these books:

The Story That Used To Run In My Head When I Was A Teenager

So there was once a Royal British man who had to make friends with lots of women since it was customary to do so. But they were all too needy and wanted this, this, and that; or, they were not the right one. One day, something bad happens like this man had to save a young ordinary woman who fell from a cliff; or he ends up finding a woman who has run away from her home. Then he falls in love with her at first sight and slowly realizes it. This experience slowly changes him into a better person.

The Story That Runs In My Head Now

So there was once a Royal British man who had to have sexual relationships with lots of women and call girls since it was customary to do so. But they were all too needy and wanted this, this, and that; or they were not the right one. There are times when he sounds way too bossy and mean—obviously, he abuses women too. One day, something bad happens like this man had to save a young ordinary woman who fell from a cliff; or he ends up finding a woman who has run away from her home. Then he falls in love with her at first sight and slowly realizes it. This experience slowly changes him into a better person.

But, then again, do British Royal men really marry ordinary women who are going through ordeals like attempting to commit suicide or running away from home? If yes, then why is Twitter not booming with these stories. And, what is this thing about slowly changing him? Is the heroine handling a narcissist male?

Hahahaha! This feels so funny inside my head right now. I was grown in Pakistan so when someone brings up friendship between guys and girls, it means having tea or chatting. I did not knew what a real sexual relationship is until I was in my twenties; I learned these details in Canada. I studied some of this subject on my own from home, in Biology classes, or by talking to my friends.

I love how I have an interesting memory of my younger self, which helps me relate well to a younger audience. Innocence is something so indescribable that you will miss it a lot when you lose it! For instance, now I have to skip some parts of these novels like when the hero is hanging out with other women; or, I have to read it over longer periods of time so I don’t think about what’s going on in there. And, when I was a teenager, I said the following when an older friend of mine asked me how I would spend my day after getting married: “After getting married, I will sing lots of songs.” I said this because my uncle used to sing a lot just before he got married. LOL!

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

How Gotham’s Dr. Hugo Strange and Arkham Represent The Grating Realities of Canada

Dr. Hugo Strange manages Gotham‘s asylum for criminally insane, “Arkham“. First viewers may think that Dr. Strange is the good guy because he does all the normal things like smile, laugh, work, and read books. But, soon his speech becomes distorted enough to show his real side. I am making up the following dialogues after studying Dr. Strange; Dr. Strange actually says a little bit of these or indirectly implies the rest. My attempt is to show you the similarities between Arkham and Canada as well as Dr. Strange and some Canadians.

Scenario 1

Dr. Strange: We are all here to celebrate and experience the anguish of being wronged;  we are here to feel the fatality and reality of things. Why only feel these things! Why not some firecrackers for all of us! What do you think Ms. Peabody?

Ms. Peabody: You are right!

Dr. Strange: What a nice gal!

Scenario 2

Dr. Strange: These patients are very very happy here. Ms. Peabody is in charge of their rehabilitation; and, we have no complaints so far. I assure you that when all of this is over, they will be back to their “real self”.

Scenario 3

Dr. Strange: She is such a talented and beautiful woman. That one is peculiar! Shall we see how she is holding up in there? That brave rascal! (turns switch on and we see a 13 or 15 year old girl, Firefly, standing in a desolate and dark room holding a torch. She has been trained to light anyone who approaches her.). What do you think Ms. Peabody?

Ms. Peabody: Yes! You are right.

Scenario 4

Dr. Strange: What do you mean? I am not in need of you. It is you who need me. All you have to do is stick with your promise.

Scenario 5

Dr. Strange: We are all mad here; we are all bad here; we are all rad (radical hippie style) here. C’mon, that’s the plan. Ahh! What would I not do to ruin that smile?

Arkham is an asylum that was created to manage and assist criminally insane. In Canada, colored people are treated as criminally insane. In some workplaces, one is treated as a villain who is not allowed to move up and is constantly questioned about things that he/she have already overcome. Canada wrongly and openly boasts of being a leader in human rights; but, the reality is that this country runs sick experiments on colored people. Canada is one of the most racist countries in the world; its mostly White media does not properly reflect the needs of the colored people; police of certain cities are anti-Black ; phobia against certain groups is normalized by mainstream media; the income gap is very wide, especially for coloured people and most Canadians somehow end up justifying why they have multiple degrees and really insignificant savings; war refugees that are at risk of developing Stockholm Syndrome are brought into Canada and they are not warned that sex trafficking is a well-hidden crime in this country; sex is so much in everywhere that even fundraisers or annual dinners are being run with the help of performers who are dressed like strippers (I saw this with my own eyes); the fact that a lot of colored graduates from university campuses, which can be dubbed “Brown Campuses“, don’t want to work with these white-lead universities is hidden under arrogant claims like “these people are just visiting Canada” or “these people aren’t qualified enough”; and, living here and having a family is almost impossible for many colored individuals. Colored humans are forced to see the White Saviour Complex as something good just like the inmates of Arkham are forced to realize that there is nothing wrong with becoming more evil or going back to the same city that initially corrupted them.

In “Gotham”, Dr. Strange attempts to recreate what he considers is “normal”. Mind you, Dr. Strange is very selective just like some narcissists and criminals who work and live in Canada. He totally picks who is going to become the “real self” and who needs to be “freed” into the hell offered by Gotham. When I wrote some of the dialogues about Dr. Strange, I used the word “real self”, which is an idea I learned in Philosophy and English classes. You must have wondered what Dr. Strange means by “real self”? “Real self’ is the one that is created by Dr. Strange after harsh experimentation. This new person is actually very much brainwashed and is even more criminal than before. In Canada, “real self” is conceived after considerable brainwashing. They are using many ways to reprogram colored people. Not giving colored people suitable jobs that match their qualifications and skills; talking to them in a demeaning manner, such as expecting that that colored researcher the cops just happened to stop is working in India and not Canada; offering more barriers, such as the glass ceiling effect and the color coded labour market; unjustly detaining them with the help of the Security Certificate and not granting the lawyers any access to human evidence; and, assimilating them in a senseless way, such as expecting everyone to dance and discuss or engage in sex rather openly (discussed in schools and offices) regardless of their religious background. The last option in the aforementioned list might baffle some readers because predators like these are selective people who don’t attack everyone. Even when you feel nothing is happening, something is happening. For example, Dr. Strange speaks by using puzzling words like “real self”; even some Canadian employers use similar confounding terminology and methods, such as telling a job candidate that he/she is not maintaining sufficient eye contact while failing to recognize the fact that this is being done to manage eye contact with the rest during a panel interview.

Scenario 3 is about Firefly who was introduced to crime through ongoing neglect and mistreatment that was offered to her by her brother. This is similar to a typical domestic abuse situation where a young Canadian woman eventually snaps and tries to let’s say run away from her home; she finally finds a new place and is harassed there as well. The right kind of people never find out in due time because Canada is like a pitch black and deserted place where attempts to seek help are nullified by almost everyone including those who are jealous; those who are well-meaning; those who are educated; those who have no education; those who care; and, those who don’t care. As usual, there are always lots of Ms. Peabodys in such cases because every abuser needs someone who can validate that person. Now, just like Firefly, this young woman can be further torn and gradually changed into a hardcore and even more hideous monsterby “monster”, I mean an “outcast”. If you feel that I just told you a big fat lie, then know the following facts: 2 out of 3 Canadians are not aware about sexual consent; rape kits are failing the victims and rape crisis centres are being failed by the Canadian system;  not to forget that victims of domestic abuse are also being failed by the Canadian system. Justice is sometimes or perhaps most of the times really slow in Canada, which is what this particular story is telling us: According to CBC, in 1900s, the CIA conducted brainwashing experiments on Canadians at the McGill University; now, in 2018, the Fifth Estate is collecting stories of people who were affected by this experiment. Its really that late? Do you still think there are no Fireflies in Canada?

Scenario 4 is a common example of abuse and intimidation that takes place in Canada. Narcissists are running Canada; a lot of these narcissists are well suited for positions in lecturing, management, and medicine. Nobody goes near them because just like Dr. Strange, these people are control freaks; this is signified by phrase, “All you have to do is stick with your promise”. I have some experience with Canadians who are narcissists. I have learned that there are different kinds of narcissists; for example, there are those who like to devise errors and attempt to place those delusions in the brains of the victims and the rest of the audience; and, others who just use verbally loaded language to scare their victims. It is very easy to find male and female managers who are using pornographic terminology or the F word inside officesyou will see people talking about this in close circles but most people do not want to worry about reporting these atrocities to the media. It is a fact that Canada coddles criminals; you might be sitting right next to a real whacko while you are studying or working. It is a fact that in Canada racism is sometimes a very hidden thing; and, this is why it takes a lot of time and thoughts to just realize what has happened. This concept is represented by Arkham’s concealed basement where monsters are created through abusive research and experiments. I have experiences with such covert form of racism; there have been times when some people have made friends with me only to leave me after using my connections and resources; even some strangers have told me that something similar has happened to them as well. Furthermore, real and credible authorities are never made available on mainstream media; and, when they do arrive, they arrive in lesser number owing to Canada’s integration issues.  Additionally, reality is never represented properly through media simply because it is being run by domineering individuals who want us to be okay with being labelled inappropriately and misrepresentedthis is the promise they think we owe them. For example, Ezra who is telling a lot of lies about Islam is always summoned by Canadian mainstream media; but credible and globally known authorities like Imam Dr. Delic are not invited. Last but not least, the government authorities like RCMP are wasting a lot of effort in creating racist guides to target certain groups; for example, the RCMP interview guide unfairly targets Muslim migrants. Overall, colored people especially the ones who need to be targeted due to political reasons are expected to complete the promises they made to Canada because Canada is not in need of them but they need Canada. The fact that whistleblowers can get fired and abused in Canada sometimes shows at the lowest levels of authority like when students are warned unfairly if they decide to speak out against abusive teachers or professors. This reasoning is how Canada is getting away with using the resources of the colored people while making it look like that Canada does not owe them anything. The misuse of the Chinese employees is one example. Mistreatment of Muslims is another excellent examplenot many Canadians are aware of the fact that the Muslims have been living in Canada since 1800s.

In Scenario 1, I stated that Dr. Strange has a need to use “firecrackers”. Here, I am referring to hate crimes and racism as firecrackers that hit the victims on their already wounded heads every now and then. Lastly, Scenario 5 is everywhere. We are expected to mix, mingle, and laugh even after having our heads shaved owing to the frustration offered by the current state of Canada. Thus, Canada is as civil and productive as Arkham.

My Last Thought: Can you easily see now how groups like ISIS can attack lonely Canadiansthey are already doing this to lonely Americans. All they have to do is find some lonely and poor Canadians; tell them that they have a chance to get rid of the West and its methods by participating in a war; love them by sending them daily messages, showing affection, and providing a “supportive” online group; and, then wait for the “Stockholm Syndrome” to set in. That’s all! They can build an army like this; and, given the entire picture, it should be easy to do so. Lastly, after reading stories of how young Americans become willing to do what ISIS is asking them to do, I have started thinking that ISIS is very educated in psychological brainwashing torture; this is why I have started believing that ISIS is linked into powerful Western countries like America and not poor countries like Afghanistan. James L. Trainum’s book “How the Police Generate False Confessions: An Inside Look at the Interrogation Room” shares the techniques that are used to brainwash victims into believing that they are the “real hard-core criminals” or the “new, protected, and loved informants”. If you have any questions about ISIS, read this book. Maybe, it will help a lot!

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Update on Status of My Works and Some Success Tips

So far, I have two works rolling at the same time. Here is an update for all my loving fans.

  • The first book, “Intertwined” is almost complete. I have a first draft so far; and, I am in the process of completing the transcription of several important audios.
  • For the first book, I am in the process of talking to animators and artists. I am collecting quotes so far.
  • There will be crowdfunding campaign soon for the first book, “Intertwined“. I will be introducing this campaign through emails or by appearing at the stage.
  • The second book, “She: The Mirror” is just a first draft. Several audios need to be transcribed. Then, phase two “Integrating Research” will begin.
  • An outreach campaign for this website and my work has started. So far, I am reaching out to select key figures; and, later this campaign will become more generic in nature.

My best tips for successfully finishing larger works are as follows:

  1. Complete everything in small steps
  2. Give yourself enough time to finish the rest of your important tasks like studies
  3. Become a workforce and not just a writer
  4. Have multiple backups on all works so that you may not lose anything
  5. Follow the Eisenhower Matrix to prioritize tasks; it lets you focus on 20% of tasks that create 80% of the results.
  6. Say no to certain things. I said no to reciting poetry on stage for some years during which I completed this website and my first book. I had to remove this distraction because hanging around with people makes me focus way differently than when I am dreaming.
  7. Use alarms to segment your time.
  8. Learn sales techniques. You will be selling your novel and not just depending on a sales team. I have spent some months learning how to sell.
  9. Spend some time listening to music, watching movies, walking, exercising, or doing whatever you like.
  10. Stay organized. I have 13 really large folders with my written work; 1 19-pocket case file to keep the most critical documents; 6 boxes to hold some other critical content; 2 shelves to carry the documents that I am currently reading; 2 large bags to carry the books that I will be reading currently; and, 2 libraries to carry the rest of my books.
  11. Take a small course as you complete your work. Self-paced courses can easily fit into your daily brainstorming and writing routine. Alternatively, you can just pull articles from the web and read them. You will notice that there will be a point where you will feel compelled to take one or more courses.
  12. Know and understand your past. Your past will dictate everything you will have in the future. My past included praying to God to be able to write; walking with two of my best professors; performing poetry on stage; receiving mentorship by my favourite Canadian poet; and, receiving a review from a well-known American writer and poet.
  13. Get back in the game after failing on any portion of this tedious and lengthy task. According to article, “15 Songs That Capture The Spirit Of Being An ENFP“, the song that represent ENFP attitude after failure is “Chumbawamba – Tubthumping“.
  14. Daydream or dream every now and then about what things are going to be like when you finally win. My dream is that I am building a special place for my fans and some of most loved people. I sleep like a baby on this thought!

writing-pens

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

How I Started Writing Poetry

Some years ago when I was studying at University of Toronto, some people indirectly made fun of me and my religion. All this was done in a subtle way; but, I notice things easily. One day when I got home from university, I prayed to God; and, told God that I needed an outlet. I still distinctly remember that I started writing after I issued this prayer. Now, here is the fun part. I have not been exposed to poetry writing when I was a child and adolescent; I knew only how to read and interpret some amazing Urdu poems, such as the ones by Allama Iqbal. I used to focus more on mainstream music and songs; and, I used to just listen and sing back like a robot. According to article, “The emotional power of poetry: neural circuitry, psychophysiology and compositional principles” (Wassiliwizky, Koelsch, Wagner, Jacobsen, and Menninghaus, 2017), the tendency to listen to music and enjoy poetry less is due to insignificant exposure to the later art during childhood and adolescence. Now, here is what is even more intriguing. According to the above-mentioned article, poetry engages the brain regions associated with primary reward and plays a pivotal role in how emotional expression evolves. Thus, it is clear to me that although I am genetically related to some well-known poets, my ability to write poetry is a gift from God—I am even more convinced now that some of my most challenging prayers actually get accepted. I like it how one prayer altered my entire life. I cannot believe that I can somehow write poetry now although I have no real training in writing poetry. People now clap for me for pretty long—its funny how God works. Check out some of my poetry!

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

How Champions Are Different Than The Rest

I know from my personal life experiences that champions are very different than the rest—if you observe them up close, you will fully understand a lot of tough things.

When I was younger, I saved my younger brother from being abducted. When I was introduced to the world of Martial Arts for the very first time, I was not shy about walking on a broken foot. My right foot actually broke while I sparred with a much larger sparring partner; my parents weren’t home so I had to walk back. It healed on its own over time although it was infected for a bit. There is still a mark on my right foot; and, it still functions perfectly. When I matured even further, I walked again while enduring further pain. Around five years ago, I contracted a deep and recurring Urinary Tract Infection and another related complication. In 2018, I ran through the anaconda-like corridors of Algonquin College with these injuries as well as feet that were swollen due to edema. Most of my class fellows learned about my medical condition because they could see me in pain sometimes. I had to struggle to manage my assignments, studies, and doctors’ appointments; but, I was in the final stages of healing because I had been fighting this condition for some years now. At the end, I won this battle as my infection fully healed; and, I was placed on the Dean’s List for Event Management program. From this ordeal, I learned the significance of having a dependable team in achieving difficult and memorable tasks; I also learned the importance of believing in myself and pursuing my goals.

This is why I can relate to champions, such as Indian track and field sprinter Milkha Singh, who are not like the usual Hollywood/Bollywood/Lollywood protagonists; but, who have real struggles that make them heroic in nature. And, they are in tune with their inner self, their inner child. As an ENFP, that is my best gift. Becoming a champion simply means learning and understanding their behaviour; and, then creating similar behaviour that is unique to you but still resembles your champions’ behaviour.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved except for the embedded videos.

Emotional Support Produces Better Results

When I was younger, I studied only one English Literature course at University of TorontoI completed a Major in Biological Sciences and Double Minors in Philosophy and Mathematics. As a student, I was blessed because I was close to some of my Biology, Philosophy, Maths, and English professors. I used to walk with a Philosophy professor as well as an English professorthey did not mind me right next to me. They were both very nice men and were much older than me. On our way from North building to South building, I used to pair up with these two professors. The walk is like 25 minutes so it is very boring walking alone. Pairing up with my professors after class helped me because it was easier for me to think back to the lectures this way. Both of my professors were very protective of me just like they were towards other students. No wonder I grew up so focused! My ongoing attraction towards English and Philosophy is directly tied to the additional emotional support provided by these men. They used to spend the most time answering my questions because they knew that I was going to ask them the most questionsI enjoyed their courses more because they were more interesting to begin with.

When I grew older, I changed into what these professors were trying to create; i.e. a creative, fresh, and inquisitive mind that asked the right questions and finds the right answers; and, someone who would listen to herself before deciding on something. As I matured, I realized that I was performing better when I was working close to those who chose to love and protect me; otherwise, I was just running away faster. Read article  “Why offering emotional support in the workplace can lead to increased productivity” to find out why I am always writing, thinking, and consistently and patiently pursing my goals.

love

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Reading Into Clues Of Abnormal Psychology Offered By “Gotham”

I am still on Season 1 of Gotham; I have watched it half way through so far. Nygma works for the Forensic department of the G.C.P.D. team of Gotham. So far Nygma has been acting very friendly, cooperative, and flirtatious. I used to laugh every time he would throw a riddle. I thought that it just what some bored cops until Episode 15, “Scarecrow”. When Penguin re-opens Fish’s night club under his name, he visits the G.C.P.D. to give an invitation to the Jim. Jim Gordon saved his life and he is the only honest guy Penguin really knows. We can see Penguin’s struggle with the good and bad as we watch him desperately attempting to tie a bond with Jim Gordon.

When Penguin is inside the G.C.P.D.’s office, something really weird happens. Nygma loses his usual composure and stalks Penguin. He then stands really close to Penguin and talks to him; Penguin eventually gets frustrated and asks him to step back. Nygma complies while smiling in a cunning manner. Then, he says something very weird, which is how I nailed that Nygma is actually “The Riddler”; if I didn’t hear him say this, I would have continued believing that the real Riddler is just a copycat or some twisted friend of Nygma. Nygma’s comments are actually very creepy! He said to Penguin, “You know male emperor Penguins keep their eggs warm by balancing them on their feet? Isn’t that neat?” After and while saying these very odd words, he keeps smiling at the fearsome Penguin in a very strong manner. Also note that he chose to convey his sentiments to Penguin at the time Penguin was trying to create another precious and rare memory with Jim Gordon. In essence, Nygma ruined one of Penguin’s happiest memory on purpose. After watching him exert control on Penguin like this, I realized that this cop with real control issues is actually the villain “The Riddler”.

“Gotham” is very beautiful to watch especially if you have any interest in criminology and abnormal psychology. I am studying this series for my upcoming novel “She: The Mirror“. I cannot understand some of my experiences that have occurred in Canada without learning about such content. Canada is actually a very abusive country; and, many abusers and brainwashers are sitting in academic places, mainstream media, offices, and government.

trap-mice
This maze is used to trap mice; and, Canadian system and some Canadians trap the vulnerable.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

“Gotham”! I Am Getting That Tick In My Head

My novel lucid mind plays a funny rhythm every time I come across someone or something exceptional—its different for each case. Once it played this tune with X-Files; I even play with m favourite charcaters or sets when I become lucid. And, this time my lovely brain is playing this tick every time I finish watching series Gotham—I have to make sure not to watch dirty scenes though so that my funny tune may play properly. This tune I feel after watching “Gotham” is so real. It’s like all my dream characters start singing some sort of song during the day. It’s a thrilling experience! I know that some mastermind artists and speakers receive enlightenment through tunes that activate inside their minds after a timeless encounter. This odd music is the reason why I plan to read this series slowly. The script for “Gotham” is available at Springfield! Springfield!

Advice to all writers and poets: Stay close to the things that are causing that odd rhythm inside my brain. Fight to get close if you need to. After close encounter, start writing.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.

Imaginary Parallel Play With Your Heroes

In year 2011, I received a review of some of my poetry from a distinguished American poet and writer. This review was important for me because it was my first review; and, because this occurred around the time when I knew really less about the poetry and writing industry. Seriously! I have only finished one university course in English Literature although I have successfully completed some courses in Linguistics and Philosophy—I still read a lot of books because I started reading at an early age. I still do not know many poetry techniques; and, most of the stuff I write just comes out of me on its own. I printed his comments about my first set of poems and felt inspired by them because he had somehow accurately gauged my mental strength and eventual influence of these poems. I kept his well-thought ideas about my potential and possible growth and development in my mind as I learned how to imagine doing Parallel Play with this great individual.

Parallel Play is a technique used by children where they play next to each other without influencing each other and while feeling an interest in what others are doing.  ENFPs like me can easily use Parallel Play in real life, which is actually very attractive and supportive. This activity creates a stronger psychological state among adults because this way they have more personal space for maturation. But, I can take this game one step ahead and recreate the person of interest through Lucid Dreams or just imagine the existence of my hero(es) in order to amplify all my thoughts.

One situation that I created inside my mind is a strong idea about his efforts and struggles. Another thing that I did differently was to print his email and read it every now and then. Yet another task I made sure to complete was to participate in his online projects and campaigns. Because I am an ENFP, emails and hand-written letters are like real gold mines in my mind; and, all of this happened because of exactly one email (the review). Then I used to slowly work towards my goals while thinking that I am working alongside my inspiration.

It has really worked fabulously so far! The first draft of my first book, Intertwined, is finished. It started out with around 100 pages; and, now it is like more than 300 pages. I feel I enjoyed myself more while working on this challenging project because I could effectively and easily imagine being around this person. Reality is that by imagining this, I became so focused on finishing my book that I even gave up on local poetry readings. Doing so helped me conserve my energy and use it on lucid dreaming instead. I made this odd move because after reading his review, I felt that it was time to go beyond; and, the only way of achieving this goal was to focus on my inner self. Thus, seeking solitude helped me move forward faster. Another thing that played in my favour are my novel genes. As a Rajput, I am related to some very famous names; some of them are distant relatives whom I have never met. Reality is that I do not know most of these individuals up close because I came to Canada when I was pretty young. One story that I have heard from my family members is how a top Bollywood and Lollywood executive and performer is related to me. I cannot reveal his name here because I have never met him in real life; but, I know that he participated in making the Blockbuster Hindi song “Chori Chori” —nice song, but I would never go towards Bollywood or Lollywood. I know that the need to realize who you truly are is also connected to your genes to some extent.

Copyright © by Arzoo Zaheer. All Rights Reserved.